Why are you a pleaser?

First Love YourselfAfter having met each other on a networking meeting, there were two women in a conversation and one of them suddenly asked me why she was a pleaser. I said I could explain this to her without asking universe information, just based on my working experience with clients. Most of my clients are sensitive women who are pleasers. They have their families so children and their partner are top priorities. Sometimes they even care for their parents or in-laws too. Then they also often work, do the household, groceries, administration and/or finances, they race around with the children to school and after school activities. They try to sport themselves, to see their friends for a cuppa and/or to practise a hobby. Such a life sounds like trying to be Super Woman. Everybody and everything is a priority, but who is the one on the bottom of the list? You.

That’s confronting, isn’t it? You have put yourself on the bottom of the priority list of your life. You’ve downgraded yourself to not being important, you don’t count of getting a priority. You don’t take good care of yourself. You don’t listen to your needs. Maybe you can’t even feel anymore what your needs are.

When you please others, you do that because it makes you feel good and you feel appreciated. If you wouldn’t do that, the other person wouldn’t feel good and you would get a feeling that you did it wrong or didn’t give enough. That would make you feel bad. What’s the worst that could happen to you then? Well, that the other person judges you and rejects you. So here you have your fear of rejection. And what’s underneath this fear? What happens when you feel rejected? You feel terribly lonely. So that’s a fear too. When you’re feeling lonely, you feel not connected. It feels like you’re alone in the world. That can be an incredibly devastating feeling. It means you are disconnected from universe. Imagine how that feels, although you have your guardian angel and spirit guides with you constantly, you feel disconnected from them. And you even feel disconnected from The Source (or God or All-That-Is). You have the belief that you have to do everything yourself. Maybe you even belief that you are not able to handle life and everything that comes on your path. This is fear of being alone is your deepest fear to work on. And how can you change this? To start loving yourself.

That can be harder to achieve than it sounds. Because how do you love yourself? Where do you start? How do you connect to your heart and feel your needs? And how can you stand up for yourself, change your position from the bottom to the top priority of your list and fulfil your needs? It’s true that if you love yourself and fulfil your needs, you can take better care of others. So others will even benefit from your big change to love yourself more.

Meditation can bring you answers, you can ask the help of angels and your spirit guides and I am also happy to help you release your deepest fears and help you to discover how to love yourself and how to fulfil your needs. Decide now to make your Self the highest priority in life!

How to overcome anxiety?

Calm WomanThis is Archangel Michael writing a message to you about anxiety. A lot of people on earth are experiencing anxiety in their lives. They often experience a tightness in their chest, a high and quick breathing, a racing heart and restlessness. When this lasts a while, it can become a panic attack.

If you experience anxiety, you are a ‘thinker’; very busy in your mind with lots of fear thoughts and worries. Sometimes you can even ‘overthink’ situations. Your thoughts can go round in your head and you don’t know how to stop them. How you feel, can cause that you avoid certain situations where you know on forehand you would experience the anxious feeling again or stronger.

Humans often try to suppress their feelings, but the opposite is necessary. Start to acknowledge your feelings. Give them your full attention and allow them to be as big as they need your attention. This may sound strange to you, but it’ll help to release them. Focus on your feelings while breathing consciously to your lower tummy. And send love from your heart to your feelings.

You can also review your thoughts during a day. Are you thinking positive thoughts that support your life? Write them down to have the proof what thoughts you are thinking. Possibly you see a pattern of how you think. Now change negative thoughts into positive thoughts that will help you in your life to move forward, take new challenges, learn new things and develop yourself.
Let me give you an example: if you think thoughts as ‘I’ll never get this done today’, do you think that you can finish your things-to-do list today? I’m sure you won’t achieve ticking of the list today. So what would be a more positive and helpful thought? ‘I am focussed and in the flow and it’s my intention to finish my things-to-do list today’.

Don’t forget to ask my help or help from other angels you work with, and your spirit guides. We are always available to help you, but we can only help when you ask us, because you have free will. Don’t worry that you’ll ask our help too often, because there is no ‘too often’. Our help is infinite. We are happy with a smile on your face and a ‘thank you’ as your thoughts. Tell us what you want, what you need and ask us to help you. Be open to receive our help and guidance and follow our signs and your intuition.

Grief in loving memoryThis month it’s a year ago my husband Jan crossed over to heaven. I’ve had a very challenging year with lots of changes and personal growth and I’d like to share what I discovered and experienced. Maybe it helps you when you’re in a grieving process of a departed loved one, or in some other way.

A year ago in this week my husband was already very ill, couldn’t keep any food inside and finally went to hospital, because nothing we tried helped him to improve to being healthy again. It was a time of literally facing death in his eyes, although we were still hopeful and expecting a miracle to happen.

I found out that the moment of receiving his diagnosis that doctors couldn’t save him anymore, was the point that the door of all our dreams together was shut in one second. No dreams, no future together, he would leave pretty soon, I would be in Australia with two kids, no family in the same country. Devastation. The doctor wanted me to decide for Jan, but I believed that Jan had to make that decision about his life himself. He was still conscious and having a clear mind. Every human has free will, so he had do decide what he wanted. I thought I’d knew what he would choose and I would find out if I was right about his wishes. I decided to tell him myself what the doctor had said. We cried many tears. He immediately said he wanted to become a palliative care patient. He wanted to go home as soon as possible and he wanted to be comfortable and pain free. We informed family and his mum, sister and brother would book a flight as soon as possible to come over and say their final goodbyes. A new phase started. I knew what would come soon and it was so overwhelming to think about that. We decided to only look forward day by day. To live in the present. I still slept home, but soon I woke up in the middle of the night with Jan saying in my mind ‘I’m ready to go’. I decided to stay fulltime in hospital with him from that day on. Jan wanted me to do as much as possible for him; being with him when he was washed, he wanted me to feed him or put all types of creams on his skin. I kept an eye on his equipment and felt responsible to stand up for him and his needs. I had already been his ‘voice’ since he arrived in hospital, because he couldn’t speak properly anymore caused by his weak physical condition. On the night his family would arrive, he thought he wouldn’t make it and I was giving him healing the whole day, talking him through every minute to stay with us so he could say goodbye to his family. It was a difficult day, and such a relief when his family arrived and they could hold each other. Lots of emotions that night. And a happy ending for that day.

When Jan came home the next day as a palliative care patient, I was his carer. It was a huge responsibility and very overwhelming with all medication and things to think about. No privacy in our house anymore, no space for me to sit down and integrate what was happening. I had to be strong for Jan, for our daughters, for his family. There was no time for me. With what I know now, I can share that I completely lost myself in July 2015. I forgot to take care of me, I couldn’t feel my needs anymore, and I just had to continue day by day with what needed to be done. Lots of emotions again about my carer role; doing what I was told to do and then hearing that I had done something wrong, which later turned out I had done correctly. I was an emotional mess.

Jan and I decided to organise a big Celebrate Life Party and spread the news through social media. I slept on a mattress on the dining table next to Jan’s bed. He wanted me to stay with him constantly. The next morning when we woke up, he said he thought this was the time to leave. I sat next to his bed with my head on his chest for more than an hour, nobody knew what was going on. Jan said he saw the light but he couldn’t go yet. He was afraid to lose our strong connection. The party was a huge success. At the end of the party Jan decided it was enough and he wanted to be sedated. He could only communicate by blinking his eyes as a ‘yes’ answer. I will never forget his mum saying goodbye before Jan got sedated and crying that she was supposed to be the one to leave, not him. Everyone was with his/her own emotions, but it felt that no one understood where I was in this process. I was about to lose my husband, my anchor, the reason I emigrated to Australia with my daughter, to be together with him and to become old with him. All our dreams wouldn’t come true anymore. I was the one left behind soon, and I would have to deal with that situation. I would miss him in my daily life. I would miss my true love. I finally found true love, and I had to let it go. What was universe doing? Why couldn’t my true love stay? Wasn’t I supposed to be happy with him for a very long time? Why not? Did I do something wrong? Why did I deserve this? I completely accepted that Jan’s soul had chosen this life on earth with his lessons, and this departure. I understood that on soul level we had agreed before coming to this life, to be together and for me to help him cross over after having experienced what true love is and feels like. But with what was happening in my life right now, I unconsciously lost my faith in universe. Not so handy when you work with universe…

Two nights later I woke up with an unbearable pain in my lower tummy. I didn’t want to leave Jan to go to hospital, but I couldn’t walk anymore, so I had too. I knew I needed surgery, but I didn’t know for what. I was aware that he could cross over when I was in hospital, so before I left, I said a short goodbye to him. The ambulance ride was a reverse of everything we had been through. He had been the patient, and now I was the patient. I knew the emergency department and how they work, too well. There was no bed available, so I had to sit in a chair. I was nausea of the pain and couldn’t sit longer. I started to faint from the pain. After x-rays and a scan doctors saw a big cyst on my ovary. I would be operated the next day. I was in pain and morphine didn’t really help. I remember I told my sister, who had arrived in the meantime for my support, I could feel the morphine going to my brain and I said I felt high but still felt the pain in my lower tummy, and I was still clear in my mind. I stayed in hospital only 50 hours. Doctors understood I had to go back home. Jan was still alive. I was happy he was still there, but I couldn’t sit long with him because of my wounds. I was in my bedroom at the other end of the house and Jan was lying in the living room. I heard later that Jan had a double dose of pain relief since that evening I got home. I’m convinced he was in pain because I was in pain and we couldn’t be together, although we were in the same house. I lost the communication method with him because he was too much under sedation.

The morning of 29th July 2015 I felt intuitive that I wanted to be alone with Jan. I arranged for my sister who had arrived the day after the party, to visit the harbour and beach to do a little bit of sightseeing in Wollongong. She hadn’t seen more than our house and unexpectedly became my carer after my operation. I was alone with Jan for three hours, although the nurses came to check his pain relief medication. I discovered I could still communicate with him! He tried to blink with his eye lids but that didn’t work anymore, but I could see the muscle contraction when he tried to blink. I was so happy with this. He was still afraid to lose our strong connection. I convinced him that our connection would stay. My work as a psychic medium is evidence that a soul connection stays and that there are still ways to communicate. I convinced him he knew very well how to communicate with me or getting my attention and he would find a way from heaven to get through to me. And he could always ask Archangel Michael for help. After a channelled message on speaker by my colleague, I saw he became calm. I gave him a lot of healing that morning. And I told him it would be great to just being able to float around as a soul and to be able to visit his family and us whenever he wanted. During lunch with my sister, Jan started making noises. It sounded like he was choking, but these were his last breaths. We ran to him, I held my hand on his heart and said: “If you can go now, go. I’ll manage.” It was weird to get the confirmation of the nurse he was gone. So this was it? My mind immediately got into crisis management; we had to pick up the girls from school before school finished, because I wanted to avoid questions. The girls were both surprised to not having to cry when they saw Jan’s body. I explained that his soul was still in the room and that’s why it felt so peaceful. We could all sense his energy. After an hour the girls went playing outside. They were running, dancing, laughing and singing. How beautiful. And then I felt Jan’s energy leaving and travelling further away. It was scary to feel him moving away from me. From now on it was waiting till I received a sign or message. Two nights later I received a message from Archangel Michael; “Jan has arrived safely”. Good news, but I couldn’t feel a connection with Jan anymore. Be patient, I told myself.

I am still super grateful that I could be there for Jan. I was honoured that I could help him cross over, let go and comfort him before he started his journey back Home. I gave everything I had to give for him. I felt his frustration after he got sedated, to still be there the next day, and the next day, and that for eight days in a row. He wanted to leave, but couldn’t because of his fear. It was a sad experience, but also a beautiful one at the same time. It definitely enriched my soul.

There was so much to arrange. And there has so much happened since this day. I had to fill out piles of forms and send documents. I was still recovering from my operation and couldn’t lift weight for six weeks and I couldn’t drive myself. My sister had left after the coming together in our house to remember Jan (an awesome day where it was completely silent when the slide show of Jan’s life was shown). It was an emotional goodbye when she left, but it felt really good to finally have the house for myself and my daughter again. No one else, just finally having my own space. Space to let the tears run and to start to realise what had happened. What a traumatic experience. I had a huge list with things-to-do and I did them all that afternoon. I had to rely on help from friends and the community, and I was flabbergasted about what was happening; people came with dinner for us, brought groceries, were happy to drive me around to appointments, cleaned my house, brought the kids to school and back home, arranged playdates for the kids, and did things that I needed to have done but couldn’t do myself. I am still emotional when I think back about this. I feel appreciation and gratefulness.

I was living in a rental place with builders starting to build a road in the garden (very noisy and starting early in the morning), painters around the house to prepare the house for sale (can you open this window for me now?), and even someone who came for a taxation of the house, so I didn’t have any privacy. I once had a phone consult with a client and I couldn’t even find a room in the house where I could sit and talk in silence. How could I grieve when I didn’t have privacy? And I had to sleep to heal, but during daytime it was too noisy. And I had still so much to do! I also had to find another rental place for my daughter and myself, and move. A very stressful event and I was still recovering from my operation, not even being able to move anything myself.

I had to deal with Jan’s ex-wife and Jan’s friend and his wife, who weren’t respectful and thought they could manipulate and control me and my decisions. They put pressure on me and crossed my boundaries lots of times, although I communicated clearly about my boundaries. They created drama and spread a lot of negativity. The last thing I could use in my grieving process and recovery from my operation. I sticked with my truth in my heart and I am the only one who knows best what Jan’s wishes are and how to realise them, so I can only live by living my truth and stay true to my heart. Jan and I discussed everything together before he crossed over. I know who has broken their promises to Jan and that hurts and is disappointing. I finally decided to end the contact with them and that created peace in my life again. Lois, Jan’s daughter, is not in our life anymore since the middle of August last year. I don’t see a child as a power tool and I have luckily explained Lois on forehand how I stand in this situation and why. I have let go of all of this, I have the insight I finished karma with the persons, I forgave them, and I can continue moving forward. I just hope Lois can feel in her heart that we still love her.

In December my daughter and I went on a holiday and I had such a beautiful spiritual connection with Jan there. I was for the first time since long relaxed and had a tranquil mind. I saw Jan for the first time ever with my 3rd eye chakra, and I was over the moon about that experience. I talked a whole night with him and it felt so comfortable. Since then I’ve seen him a few times more, even with my eyes open. I can channel his message and even did that one time now without tears. I even received the signs we discussed he would give when he would be in heaven. I often look at his photo and remember the day I took that beautiful photo of him where he looks cheeky to me. It was the last Twilight Market in 2015 at Flagstaff Hill. We were enjoying the food, the sun and the view and we sent a Whatsapp message to my sister in the Netherlands that we are lucky people sitting here on a Friday night in nature, enjoying life together.

I found out this year during a session also that the time Jan got very tired in October 2014 and had to stop working as a disability support worker, had caused a shock for me. Unconsciously I knew this was not good. My body was in shock, still. Since January 2016 I got physical issues. I didn’t have energy anymore, I felt ill, terrible, organs didn’t work properly and my immune system wasn’t working well. I also had sleeping problems. I couldn’t do my work properly. I was lying on the couch between two client appointments. As I wrote earlier, I lost myself last year. I had survived, dealt with everything including the loss, negativity and stress, had moved house, and my body needed rest now. I’m not the type of person to share this private info a lot. I want to focus on being positive and optimistic. I know I can heal and I will be completely healthy again. That’s what I wanted to visualise. I rang the alarm bell about my health, looked for the best practitioners to help me and went into a big healing process. It feels now that I collected the pieces of myself the last six months and I’m integrating the last pieces to be whole again. With the shock in October 2014 when Jan’s health went downhill, I lost my power. I have my power back again. I own my power now. What a difference! I could finally take actions and reach goals. I could realise what I wanted to realise. I learned I am strong (although it doesn’t often feel like being strong when feeling so vulnerable), I can handle everything that comes on my path, I can ask for help and receive help offered, I can still feel love and even on a deeper level, I’m still happy and positive and optimistic, I can have days that I don’t feel well but I know how to raise my vibration again and I keep on moving forward. I have learned a lot, and all these lessons in my life brought me a huge personal growth. I hope this story gives hope/faith for who reads this and thinks he/she can’t handle events that happen in his/her life. You can handle everything that comes on your path! Believe in that, ask for help from universe and people around you. Sometimes just talking about what needs to be done, results in offers to help you. I didn’t see myself moving house last year. Many people helped me and I just sat down in my new house watching them working. I was empty, couldn’t move anymore. Nobody saw this as a problem. I sat until I collected myself again and felt I could do something like unpacking a box. I moved and slept in my new house the same day. My old place was big and needed to be cleaned before handing in the keys. I send out a text message asking for help, and I got a real clean team to help me. It was an amazing experience!

This year I also found out that I was disappointed in myself, for not being where I wanted to be in life at the moment. I wanted to have expanded my business. I’m having my business 10 years this year. But instead of expanding work, I had been ill after the loss of Jan and everything that happened after that. It took some time to forgive myself for being where I am right now. It’s okay to be where I am, and from here I’ll pick up to expand my business further.

A year without Jan is strange, but I managed to deal with this new situation. I’m proud of how I survived, and I have to cry when I write this. Yes, I am proud of how I handled everything that came on my path. I made lists of what I have achieved in my life so far. It helped to make me realise I am a unique person and I have achieved a lot where I can be proud of. I hope I’m a good role model for my daughter, but recently when I asked her what I could best do with a decision to make, she answered: “Do what feels good mum, because you can best follow your heart and go for the experience”, I thought she has learned something valuable in life from me, that you don’t learn at school!

Writing womanAre you seeing the talents and achievements of others, giving them compliments but is it hard to see your own achievements and being proud of what you have achieved so far? I hear you. I had the same. I thought it was nothing special how I dealt with all situations thrown on my path and how I moved through life. I believed everybody would do the same as I did. But… it turned out others started telling me that I coped so well and that I was inspiring. I couldn’t see my own achievements but it was necessary get my power back, to own my power and to raise my vibration so that I could manifest what I desired in life. To do this, I received an exercise from universe which is really powerful. I’d love to share the exercise with you.

Create some time for yourself where you can sit down quietly and won’t be disturbed by anyone. Take three pieces of paper and write one of the sentences below on each piece of paper:

  1. My physical achievements until now
  2. My emotional achievements until now
  3. My spiritual achievements until now

Write down your achievements in life. It’s the easiest to start with the present and recent achievements, cause they’ll be fresh in your mind. Then go further back in time. It’s possible that at first you can’t think of any achievement. That’s okay. You’re not used to see this side of achievements of yourself. Allow it some time to come to you. You can ask your guides and angels to help you. Or people who live with you, cause they can often tell you perfectly what your achievements are. And if you have thought of a few achievements, you’ll notice it starts to flow and you’ll think of more and more. Write them all down.

Notice in between writing down your achievements, how you feel and if feelings are changing. Write until you can’t think of any more achievements. Read your lists and notice how you feel now. Do you feel a lighter energy in and around you? You’ve raised your vibration by acknowledging and becoming conscious of your achievements. Can you also feel you start to become proud of your achievements? Especially when it’s a long list you start to feel proud. So many achievements to be proud of.

This exercise is really good to increase your self-esteem. You didn’t see all your achievements but now you do. Feel where you experience pride in your body and visualise expanding your pride. Let it grow as big as you can imagine (suggestion: worldwide). The first number between 0-100 that pops in your mind now, is the number of your self-esteem right now with pride of your achievements in life.
When you think of another achievement later, just add it to your list.
If you feel down or low in energy in future, grab these lists of achievements, read them again and feel your pride again and start radiating your pride.

lights smallThis is Archangel Michael. Thank you Astrid, for inviting me to pass on a message. I feel honoured to get the possibility of reaching so many people with my message. It is a message of love, of contribution to raise the love vibration on the planet earth.

There is a lot going on right now on the planet earth. Lots of energy shifts, but also a lot of negativity that can be released. For some this is a time of confusion and doubts. And when you have to make a choice, you can choose love or fear. When there’s negativity, confusion and doubt, the ego has a lot of power in humans and can make you choose fear.

It is important that you ask help from universe to detach with love from your ego and to reconnect with your heart and soul. In your heart is always the right answer for you what your next step is, or what the best decision is to make. Your heart will provide truth for you. It’s only your truth. It is also important to listen to your heart. To take the time frequently, preferably daily, to connect with your heart. Sit in silence and just wait what answers or messages will come to you from your heart. If you follow up on these messages, you will move forward and you will learn new lessons in your life. You will make personal growth and it will make you feel happier, more fulfilled, and at peace. If you have made a choice of love and have success because of that choice, it will complete your lesson.

It is beautiful to see that more and more people are choosing love, especially the ones who are connected to their intuition, their heart, and who want to be authentic. It is beautiful to see that more and more souls are starting to shine more brightly on the planet earth. There are lots of lights already, radiating their lights further and further, and encouraging others in their surroundings to start shining their lights too. It is a reconnection of bright lights together, and all bright lights make one big light. How awesome will it be when the planet earth is lighted by this bright light of yours. It is already so big and impressive.

I leave you with this message for today and thank you for your willingness to read this message and follow up on my advice of choosing love instead of fear. You will feel that love is the best choice. I wish you all a lovely day and say goodbye until next time.

Do you trust universe?

Trust small sizeIf you really want something in life and you don’t get it, this can be very disappointing. How do you deal with not getting what you want in life? Do you think ‘okay, that can happen, next time hopefully more luck’, do you try harder, or do you try again determined to make it happen this time? And what happens when you have another experience of not getting what you want? Does this take away your trust in universe?

See before you a scale with the numbers from 0 – 100. It’s your scale of trusting universe. What number does your scale say? It’s the first number you have in mind. If it’s higher than 50, that’s good; you’re on the path of trusting universe bit it can still be improved. If it’s lower than 50, you have to find the reasons for your distrust first and solve them, to increase your trust in universe.

What do you need to release to increase your trust in universe?
Doubts, fears and limiting beliefs.

When you have doubts (being insecure) and fears you can’t see nor feel your desired outcome happening. This means you’re not a match with what you want to achieve. Also limiting beliefs won’t help you achieve your desired outcome. If you believe you’re not worthy or deserving of receiving your desired outcome, you won’t attract it at all. Your belief is blocking it to come to you.

If you only think positive about what you want and you feel good about that, you come in the matching energy vibration to attract that what you want in life. Of course you can ask for help from the angels to keep on thinking positive (and ‘to detach with love from your ego’ to stop the voice in your mind that tells you it will never happen) and to help you visualise your future as in already having what you want. You can ask for guidance but also confirmation signs from the angels if you’re on the right path to achieve what you want and what your next step is. And then it’s of course taking action. If you’re just visualising and stay in your chair, it won’t happen (fast). You need to take action too. An action is like showing universe; see, I really want this and I’m going for it!

It’s a matter of awareness, of consciousness to implement this process in your life. You’ll find out a lot about yourself and your fears. When you let your fears go, and keep on focusing on thinking positive, it’ll change your life. You’ll get more and more evidence in your life that you’re on the right path, and miracles start to happen until you manage the process of creating that what you want, and you see your dreams being fulfilled. Your trust will increase with this evidence. After you’ve achieved another of your desires, thank universe for their help and sense how good you feel about your achieved goal. Picture your scale before you again and see how high your trust in universe is now. I bet your number raised!

yellow_daisyThere are several situations in your life where you experience emotions as fears, sadness and anger. If you haven’t released them yet, you’re probably experiencing these emotions are triggered by words people say, by TV programs, or in situations in work or privately. It can even be the case that you start to notice the same trigger repeating on your path several times.

This repeating of your trigger is a message for you. It tells you your emotion is ready to be released. How can you release your emotions? Firstly it is a matter of taking the time to sit down quietly, as in a meditative state, and acknowledging your emotion. Allow it to completely be there. Cry tears if you feel tears are coming up or burning behind your eyes. Or visualise the person before you who you need to tell your real feelings to about what has happened, and don’t hold back. You can speak words out loud or in your mind, whatever feels best for you.

There is a difference between women and men concerning the emotions sadness and anger.
Women tend to express sadness first and then can come to the layer below that, which is anger. It’s often difficult for women to express their anger, as a cause of their upbringing where anger wasn’t allowed or being punished for.
Men tend to express anger easier but have more difficulties with expressing sadness, cause the general belief is that as a man you ‘need to be strong’ and crying shows your ‘weakness’.
If it’s difficult for you to release your emotions, start by saying out loud: “I am angry”, or “I am sad”. This will help you open up a connection from your anger or sadness through your throat to get a way out of your body. Release your emotions until you feel calm inside and there’s nothing left. It is possible you are surprised about situations or people popping up in your mind around your emotions of fears, anger, or sadness, but this only means they give you insights to release them for good.

When you feel that calmness inside after releasing your emotions, it’s time for forgiveness. Can you forgive the other person for what has happened? And then: can you forgive yourself for what has happened? This last one is called self-love, and a very important one. If you carry on blame, shame or guilt feelings, you will still stay blocked.
After this, decide what you want to do with your life to be happier. Maybe you want to end contact with a person that brought negativity in your life, or maybe you want to change a situation in your life to something that feels better for you. Take the action and go for it. It’s all about your happiness and you are the only one who knows how to achieve this. You have the right to be happy. In fact, that is exactly what the whole Universe wants you to be; HAPPY.

If you tried to release your emotions, but you notice you need help with this, contact me to discuss how we can work together to free you of blocking emotions. I’m happy to help you. I want to see you happy too.

Heading for a new direction

Success Starts Here Freeway Style Desert LandscapeSunday I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed and I noticed I had an allergic reaction to all the advertisements that have the same marketing style. I realised I want to communicate differently. I want to share my experiences, what I learn and how I change things to be happier. You know, happiness is not falling into your lap automatically. You are the only one who can create it, by changing things in your life. So here comes what happened Sunday afternoon that made me realise I had to change something in my life.

My thoughts went to my own business. This year I’m doing my work as a medium, healer and therapist 10 years. My decision to start a hypnotherapist education in 2003 has changed my life. I’ve had therapy sessions to go through all subjects of my life like childhood, relationships, work, and finances. It’s a never ending process as long as you live, if you want to grow. And since my soul chose to come to this planet Earth to grow, I love to work on my personal growth. I always see a reason for improvement. It was after my divorce in 2009 that I decided to go for happiness in my life. I found my self-worth, self-esteem and could feel that I deserved only the best. But when I looked at my business Sunday, I wasn’t happy.

I saw new activities planned but not bringing the amount of enrolments I would love to have. I started to feel lost. I have beautiful psychic abilities to help heal people but how do I get them to people who want healing? There’s also the continuous pressure as a sole trader to earn a good income cause bills need to be paid too. Of course I told my feelings and thoughts to the universe. I work together a lot with Archangel Michael and since a year he has become my main guide. I love his protection, healing and guidance. I asked for signs and information about what was going on and how I could change my situation. I felt stuck and I know from experience that this means that a break-through is on its way. I asked to help me find that ‘click’ again with my life purpose so that I feel fulfilment in my work. I asked for my break-through. I also asked him to raise my vibration to the highest level of love and light.

I felt better quite fast, but wasn’t completely out of that ‘lost’ feeling. I received signs that I was helped and that there was no need to worry. Then Archangel Michael gave the message that it’s time to head for a new direction. It’s time to announce that I have channeling abilities. Archangel Michael wants to deliver messages through me to you. In three weeks time, Saturday 20 and Sunday 21 February 2016,  I’ll be at the Sacred Soul Vibrations Expo in City Diggers Wollongong. Archangel Michael wants me to arrange an Expo Special for channelled messages. He is so excited to start to do this work with me! Well, I hadn’t seen this new direction coming at this moment in my life. That is definitely a new direction. I trust Archangel Michael completely, so I’ll offer this Expo Special and I am very excited too about what messages he will have for you. It was like a break-through cause I felt a release of emotions immediately after this message. Then I felt calmer inside and he had just given me a new goal to head for. If you ask universe, they will deliver! So write down in your schedule the expo on 20 and 21 February in City Diggers and come to my stall to get more information about the Expo Special with channelled messages from Archangel Michael!

How much can you Love?

arrow-heartDirectly after the last school day in December I went on a holiday with my daughter. I so needed this break with time for myself, no stress, no routines, and another environment. From the moment we drove away, I felt Jan was with us but I love to ask him for signs of confirmation, so I did. On our ice cream break we sat down on a bench and stared at the Princes Highway to cars passing by. Suddenly I saw a car with the licence plate JAN 335. Wow, that’s really awesome!

During this holiday week I did a lot of meditation at night and got a lot of insights. The last night before going home, I spoke out my wish to see Jan with my eyes open. I didn’t know he would start working on this immediately! When I wanted to go to sleep, I suddenly got an image of Jan with my eyes closed (so with my 3rd eye chakra) where he was standing at the foot end of my bed. He was smiling widely and looking like how I knew him from back in 1998 when he was completely healthy. I was so amazed by how good he was looking and I told him telepathically (with my thoughts) that he was looking so good and that I was so happy for him. He then suddenly sat on the side of my bed. We chatted the whole night. I think I slept only two hours that night. I am very grateful for this miraculous experience.

On our way back home I asked him again for a sign if he was travelling with us. When we were half way, we got to drive behind a car with the licence plate LUV 123. Isn’t that lovely?!

Back home the weekend after Christmas, I connected strongly again with Jan in a meditation. He said he was in the room and I knew he was standing before the TV. I did my best to see him with my eyes open and managed half in doing so. I kind of projected the image I can create of him (as in visualisation) from inside my head to before the TV. Yes, I’m working on clairvoyance here. It’s a work in progress but I’m sure one day I can see him with my eyes open.

While connecting with him and chatting telepathically, I told him that he is definitely a true love for me. He knows I experienced true love before him too. I found out years ago that true love for me is a combination of three things; butterflies in my tummy, a warm feeling in my heart and a passion feeling. If one is missing, the relationship won’t work. But if my true love partner can’t commit 100%, it’s not working either. And by the way, I decided in 2009 that I only go for true love in my life, nothing less. So Jan is standing before the TV, and I realise unexpectedly that I can feel true love in my heart right now for him and my first true love. I always believed that was impossible, but here it is. I can feel it. So whatever life throws at me, a loving feeling of a true love, always stays in my heart. I’m an incredibly lucky person to have experienced true love twice in my life so far. This was a big break-through for me. This gave me hope, because I know that there can be space for a new love somewhere in the future also. I thought this was so wonderful. So my experiences with Jan, my true love with who I spent the best five years of my life so far, and who crossed over to heaven, didn’t close my heart. I definitely felt a bit paralysed in my heart after Jan’s departure to heaven which ended our mutual dreams here on earth, but I connected to Love again, right here. Love is so wonderful (and powerful), that it is possible to experience several true love relationships after each other in one lifetime.

I wanted to share this insight, because it felt so huge. And I hope it’s giving people hope and new space for love after losing a loved one. I also discovered that this experience helped me to make my relationship with The Creator stronger again, to realign with All-That-Is, an infinite source of pure, unconditional love. When I work with clients, I often come to the point that my clients feel their connection to the Creator is blocked by hurt or pain in their lives. Then we’ll work on repairing this so they can open their hearts again. It’s absolutely stunning to have your heart chakra open and to receive and give love (and have that in balance).

Taking time to heal

Grass tree sun smallAfter some very intense months in which I experienced the loss of my soul mate and husband Jan, being confronted with his ex-wife who didn’t respect my grieving process and caused drama including projecting her anger on me, Jan’s friend who put pressure on me because he went into the drama of Jan’s ex-wife, the administration round Jan’s passing and getting all contracts of the daily necessary things as gas, electricity and phone in my name, recovery of my own surgery, finding a new house and moving, the administration round my move, and settling in in my new place, I am just tired.

My body gave me a lot of signs like a very low level of iron, just feeling tired even after a night of sleep, not feeling in the mood for sports or even walking. But after my move and having handed in the keys of my previous house, I could finally let go of all the stress from the last months. I constantly knew that I had to move as the last thing on the To-Do-List. Our house would be for sale at the end of the year and we had a construction site in our garden after Jan’s passing. Our house didn’t have privacy anymore with builders and painters around it constantly.

It’s quite a project to move from a large house for four people to a house for two people. All the stuff of Jan I had to go through and the same for Lois’ (his daughter) stuff. She wasn’t staying with us from two weeks after Jan’s passing. Her mum didn’t respect my grieving process and caused drama that was accompanied with a lot of anger and negativity. I set my boundaries and protected them. I choose love in my life and there’s no place for negativity. If that meant to not have my stepdaughter to come to our house anymore, so be it. I have explained to Lois clearly that she’s always welcome to visit us, but that there’s no place for negativity in our lives. She will find the connection to her heart and know her truth, and one day act upon that. We send her a lot of loving energy and ask the angels to guide her. Love is always the answer to the best solution.

I also found out people judge about my choice, even have put pressure on me trying to make me change my decision. I sticked with what I had discussed with Jan and what feels as our truth in my heart. That’s the only way I could live with myself. I’m the only one who has discussed all details with Jan. He told a few tiny pieces to others (mostly to reassure and comfort them) but nobody has the whole picture, except me. This situation made me decide to not trust anyone with inside information and keep everything for myself. I wanted to prevent more drama. It has been hard to handle all this after Jan’s passing. It felt very lonely to have to deal with all this alone during what was meant to be grieving time. There was no time for me to really grieve, because of all the stress caused by others. It’s great to receive Jan’s confirmation that he’s still very proud of me and how I’m dealing with everything.

Before my move, I had to make all decisions what to sell, throw or give away or keep and I used my connection with Jan a lot for this. On the day of my move I was so tired, that I just stood in the kitchen holding the kitchen bench and said to the wonderful people who helped me: “I am breaking. I can’t think anymore. I can’t move anymore. I’m exhausted. I completely trust you. Do whatever you think is the handiest for me and when I’m back again, I’ll go from there. I am just so grateful for your help.” Universe has sent me really amazing people on my path and without them, I couldn’t have realised all this. I’m very aware of this.

Then our wedding anniversary came on 11th November, and symbolically on that day I returned all Lois’ stuff to her that I had saved and collected for her. With everything to keep for her, I had felt in my heart if it would have a special meaning or a memory to Jan for her. After delivering everything, I felt emotions when driving back home and I shared with Esmee that I felt Lois had a piece of Jan back into her life again. That night Jan confirmed that this was his message to me (by giving me those feelings in the car) and that I had received his message right. The action Jan suggested to help me ‘celebrate’ our wedding anniversary, helped me tremendously that day. There were so many people participating in lighting a candle as a remembrance for our love and the intention to share this love with the world. Jan thanks everyone who participated.

Don’t forget the financial stress after Jan’s passing. I’m a sole trader and dependent of clients to come for treatment or a session. If I don’t have a client, I don’t earn an income. But the world is based on paying your bills anyway, even though you didn’t have a client. And when you’re feeling tired and sad, there’s still the urge to earn an income. It’s my intention to provide a safe, healthy and happy life for myself and Esmee and I will definitely proof to myself that I can do that. I’m still in the modus of stress, being busy, running forward, no time to stop. But… I have no deadlines anymore. I can relax now. I have to use the button of slowing down and stop. Taking time to heal my body and my heart.

My heart is hurt, maybe broken or torn apart is a better word. I miss Jan, my soul mate. I came to Australia to marry him and become old with him. To live our dreams, to travel and see Australia. The dream only came true partially. But the time we had together, was wonderful. I am grateful for everything we experienced, also the last intense month together. I was honoured to be there for him, to help, support and encourage him. Now it’s time for my healing. I need to reprogram myself to take me-time every day, to meditate and channel with my guides and angels (including Archangel Michael). And I need to take time to heal my heart. To release all hurt and pain, to only take with me to 2016 the beautiful memories about our magical soul connection and marriage. The memories of a man who’s always in my heart. And I’m very grateful that I can still connect and communicate with him and receive his messages. He’s still helping, guiding and supporting me. He’s not gone. He’s just taken on a different form.

Get your free eBook

  • Find out what keeps you
    from happiness
  • How you can change this
  • And live the life you want

We hate spam just as much as you do. Your info is safe.