Candle of love

Tomorrow will be my wedding anniversary (11-11-2011). It would have been 4 years. It feels like a huge mountain to take for me to go to tomorrow. I asked Jan how I can best remember and celebrate our love tomorrow and this morning I received his answer.

I will light a candle tomorrow from the moment I wake up until I’ll go to bed again. This candle symbolises our pure, unconditional love. I’ll give our love the intention to spread through this candle all over the world to everyone who needs this love because they miss a dear loved one too.

For Jan and me it would be a huge present if you too will light a candle tomorrow and give it the same intention. Share this message if you want to join and let’s try to create a chain of lighted candles in the world to spread love. If you’ll join, I would appreciate it if you’ll send me a message below (like ‘I’m joining’), just to see how far this idea of Jan can reach.

Thank you so much for participating. I’d like to do this every year on 11th November from now on.

The contact form has been removed because it was used for spam unfortunately.

My personal life took an unexpected direction in July this year. Three months later, people ask me how I deal with everything that happened and how I can stay so positive and optimistic about my future. I’d like to share how I do that.

First of all, a big change can be a blessing too. It’s not always easy to see it like that, but it has to do with a choice also. I chose to be in the here & now, to live every day consciously, to only take one step at the time. When I looked forward what would happen when my husband would cross over, I got overwhelmed. I saw a lot of work to deal with, lots of decisions to be made. There was nothing prepared because my husband got very ill unexpected. But we spent the time together and listened to our intuition. I had to ask for a lot of help. I’d like to be independent and do most myself, but now it was really easy to ask for help, because my heart told me I wanted to be with my husband and support him. I put my life and work immediately aside to be there completely for him and I also did my best to be there for our daughters too and support them. And yes, I ignored my own needs at that time. I got some time for myself when I got my own emergency surgery at the end of July, although that was quite painful. People asked me why on earth this was happening, but I could see the work of the universe here; my family-in-law and my sister were with us that time and could manage everything in our house while I was in hospital. I surrendered to my intuition that this needed to be dealt with and when my husband would cross over while I was in hospital, that was meant to be. I used all my strength to come back home quickly (50 hours in hospital only) and I didn’t really have time to recover. There was too much to do. I asked a lot of help and healing from the angels and also colleagues were sending healing to me. I’m convinced that all the people who sent their loving thoughts to me, helped in an amazing way in my healing process too.

I couldn’t oversee what would come on my path. Everyone’s life was on hold until my husband would cross over. And when that happened, the train started rolling forward again. Lots of actions to be taken, decisions to be made. I had a things-to-do list that didn’t end. When I ticked of five tasks on a day, there had come back another 10 extra. But I tried to prioritise what was really important to do immediately. What I hadn’t done, just moved forward to the next day, until it was really done. I kept on pulling the angel answer card Big Happy Changes and that gave me hope about my future. I had no idea what would come, but it would be something good for me. I chose consciously to focus on what makes me happy. I chose consciously to not go into victimisation, depression and sadness. I want to be proud of myself, I want to be a good role model for the kids, and I know that my husband wants me to enjoy life instead of being sad and worry. I also want to be inspiring, show people that the soul connection with a crossed over soul won’t disappear. My husband supports me, helps me, gives me messages and guidance about my life. I can sense his energy which is such a happy and loving energy, I can see him with my third eye chakra (with my eyes closed) and I can still feel the love between us. His fear on earth was to lose our strong soul connection and now he knows that it’s still there. His soul left his body, but his soul continues living and can still connect with me. For me this is a normal way of seeing life and death (I prefer to call it crossing over though). I had experienced the evidence already while giving readings to people where I connect them with their deceased loved ones in Heaven. My husband’s energy merged with mine two weeks after his crossing over, and it was a fantastic miraculous sensation. Since then, I feel he’s always with me. I miss his physical presence, but further on he’s still with me and our girls. He knows everything that happens in our lives and he helps us.

The administrative side of his departure is taken care of. I’m decluttering before moving so that we can make a fresh new beginning. I’m looking forward to our new place, wherever it will be. I know my guides and angels, and my husband, will guide us to the perfect place in the right time. In the meantime I connect with my heart, my intuition and soul, listen to their messages, act upon that information and stay positive and I only connect to the highest level of love and light. I surround myself with people that are like-hearted and like-minded and positive. I’ve a lot of experience in new beginnings, so I can handle this new beginning too. I feel stronger than ever, very supported and ready for the next step.

Where people blindly followed governments and religions, a lot of humans start to realise they don’t agree to everything leaders say and expect them to do anymore. They think different and don’t follow blindly anymore. They ask themselves first: ‘Is this my truth too or not?’ and act upon that.

Everybody has his/her own truth. It’s a knowing and feeling inside yourself what is right for you. It may mean that your truth is not the truth of someone else. Maybe you even feel like you’re the only one with this truth in your surroundings. It’s also possible that you speak to others and hear their truths and opinions and you start to question your own beliefs and maybe consider to change them because you notice they’re not ‘from this time’ anymore. Some people do this in silence and don’t tell anyone else, but some do this very openly and are assertive about their truth. I notice this on social media programs.

But how do you find your own truth? That you absolutely know and feel what you believe, without any doubts? That it makes you feel good about living your truth because you can’t live in a different way than according to your truth?

To find your own truth, you need silence to go inside. Meditation is an easy way to do this. You start with quieting your mind, then focus on your heart area and then be silent. Just listen what your heart has to tell you. Act upon these heart messages. Your heart always knows the answer that is your truth. You allow your intuition, your Higher Self, and your guides to pass on messages to you. Sense how your heart message makes you feel. You can also visualise how your future will be when you have acted upon your heart message. Sense again how this makes you feel. Everything that makes you feel calm, relaxed, happy and joyful means that it’s your truth. Your life on earth is meant to give you a lot of experiences to learn and grow from, but after every experience you’re meant to find that happy, joyful, relaxed state again. That’s your confirmation you’re living your truth and you’re on your path.

Saturday I was at the Australian Paranormal and Spiritual Expo in Casula. I had many visitors attracted to four books I brought about the emotions ‘happy, angry, sadness and scared’. They told me their kids are having difficulties with the emotions anger, sadness and fears, they are having issues with sleeping (fear of the dark and nightmares) but also they see dead people. Most kids are very sensitive and their sensory system (see, hear, sense, taste and smell) is wide open. They can get overwhelmed easily with what enters their energy system. You can help them to deal with this and make them use their sensitivity as a powerful tool for themselves to become happier.

The most important exercises to start teaching them, are:

• Protect yourself in a bright white light or golden ball of light around you (you can do this by visualising yourself into a big ball around you from over your head till under your feet)
• Anchor yourself into the centre of mother earth (you can do this by visualising a golden chord starting to grow from your lowest part of your spine downwards, through all layers of the earth, until it’s very deep in the centre of mother earth where you visualise to fasten it and pull it tight)

If you teach them to do these exercises daily if they wake up and when they go to bed, it’s becoming a healthy habit. It’ll also help kids to sleep better, because they are protected from lower energies to connect with them.

Are you as a parent very sensitive? Then these exercises will also help you to protect your energy and feel more stable in life because you’re firmly anchored in the earth. Anchoring or grounding in the earth is helpful to be more in the here & now and to have more calmness in your head (instead of the busyness with hundreds of thoughts going around constantly).

Sensitive kids are also often empathic too; they sense or know or feel how others are feeling. If another kid is feeling angry, they’ll probably want to stay out of the way, but if another kid is feeling sad or afraid they’ll mostly want to help. Sensitive kids can be shy or modest and can have fears to stand up for themselves or to be assertive. It’s beautiful when you can teach them to express their feelings in a positive way. You can talk with them about the four emotions; sadness, fears, anger and happiness. Ask them for examples when they experience these emotions. Ask how they feel when they’re happy. And how they feel when they’re angry, sad or afraid. Teach them it’s okay to have these emotions. You can teach them to say out loud ‘I’m angry’, ‘I’m sad’, or ‘I’m afraid’, when they experience these emotions and feel in a safe environment. Practise this at home and be a good role model. You can teach them to take some time for themselves to handle or integrate their emotions. For example to say ‘I’m angry and I need some time to let this feeling go. I’ll be back in ten minutes to play with you, or talk further with you again’. You’re helping your kids to express their emotions and to release them. Give your kids compliments when you notice they’re using these new skills.

Explain your kids that their feelings and emotions are important. Make them conscious about what they are feeling and that they create their intuition with that, a sixth sensory that is very special and handy. This intuition can help them with being happier by trusting their feelings and acting upon them. An example: if they feel they can’t trust someone in class to share their deepest feeling, then they won’t tell this person. Or if they see another kid sitting lonely, they can invite this kid to play with them. Or if they feel another kid is sad, they can join this kid during break time and ask what happened and if they can help. I personally like this idea of a world where we teach our kids how to handle their emotions, how to talk about emotions and feelings, and how to respect everyone for who they are. It’s something human and normal. If we adults, use all these tips too and practise this daily, we’re helping the world to become a happier place.

It happened Tuesday night last week. My husband, Jan, already had tremendous problems with sleeping for a couple of days. Just when he started to fall asleep, he woke up with a shock and breathing heavily and fast. He panicked. He also was exhausted of not sleeping. A few weeks before, he was in hospital for his fifth cardio version because his heart was racing (when he was lying in bed, his heart was ticking as if he was running a marathon). That was solved, but Tuesday night he had again that he couldn’t breathe properly, he didn’t get enough oxygen when breathing in. After dinner he started to throw up. At two o’clock I had to call the ambulance again. This is my side of the story of what happened the last days in our lives. I’m writing this because we aren’t people who want to bother other people with our lives, we aren’t complainers, we always want to stay positive and optimistic, we are strong people. But because of this, nobody has a real idea what’s going on behind the scenes. How my husband is fighting for his life to be perfectly healthy again. And how our love and soul mate connection gets us through this every time again. I also want to share my side of this story because I want to share what emotions I’m going through, and how my education and faith and asking for help from people and the universe, helps me handle this situation.

So Tuesday night my husband went to hospital again. As most of you know, our families live in the Netherlands. It’s just us here. Because of the school holidays we had both our daughters at home this first week. They were sleeping and I asked the angels to protect them and shield them from what was going on when the ambulance arrived. They didn’t wake up, a miracle (one of them asked the next morning if she had dreamt she heard voices or if it was for real, so I explained she had heard the ambulance people). Because of the girls at home, I couldn’t go with Jan in the ambulance, but I’m used to that now (it was the sixth time he went with the ambulance, remember?). I switched on my phone and went back to sleep. I woke up round six because Jan called me to tell I could pick him up from hospital. X-rays and blood tests showed there was nothing wrong. I decided to quickly leave the house to pick him up (we live very close to hospital) and left a note on the kitchen bench for the girls, in case they would wake up. They didn’t. Back home, Jan was a bit calmer (he had oxygen in hospital) but he still couldn’t sleep and got into the heavy panicking breathing just before he started to fall asleep.

Wednesday became a day of keeping faith. Jan’s health went backwards fast. He hadn’t slept for days and nights and was exhausted. He just wanted to go to sleep, but he also resisted to fall asleep somehow. He looked absolutely horrendous; I saw a walking dead man. He was throwing up constantly and it didn’t look good. He couldn’t keep any food or water inside. He smelled terrible. I knew his body was shutting down. A quick briefing about his health background; he had an immune disease 10 years ago and a stem cell transplant in 2009. In the last years he completely got rid of all medications and was progressing very well with his health. He even worked again and started as a sole trader this year. Just recently he found a new alternative health practitioner who gave us hope to be completely healthy again, and since he started to use the natural medicines subscribed, he was doing well.

Can you imagine how it feels and what it does to you to see your husband while his body is shutting down? When his immune system stops working? And when you look death in the eyes? I didn’t think of it a second. I noticed but didn’t do anything with it. I had to stay strong and keep him battling and let him have faith to be healthy, even if it looked impossible at this point.

I constantly asked Archangel Michael, the healing angels, Archangel Raphael and other Archangels and Ascended Masters to protect us and to help Jan be healthy again. I didn’t have any doubt that I would lose Jan, but I couldn’t figure out in my mind either how this would be solved. We had contact with the practitioner and we had a treatment scheduled for Thursday. We counted down every hour. And we stopped using the natural medicines till the treatment. Jan had difficulties with walking to the toilet. He needed support to go there. I found a way to lift him out of a chair and walked behind him, holding him really tight. It was heavy but we managed. The nights were terrible. He couldn’t sleep, made a lot of noises with his throat. And he constantly panicked just before falling asleep, so he ‘woke up’ again sitting straight in bed and gasping for oxygen. I asked for help of the universe constantly. Also to keep me on my feet and to provide me with energy and to help me handle this situation. Oh, today the girls were home and we had an appointment at the dentist in the morning. After lunch a friend from the Southern Highlands would come over; she had an appointment in town and her daughter would play at our house while she had the appointment. We did it all; we went to the dentist and we had my friend and her daughter coming over too. It’s amazing what a person can handle when the universe is helping.

Jan needed me for everything and it felt terrible that I couldn’t give the girls enough attention. Also I started to feel exhausted. You know, when someone is ill, they’re of course allowed to feel exhausted and sleep the whole day. But I had to be there the whole day, whenever he called me. Every panic attack I had to help him breathe calmly again and to talk him through it. I used EFT Tapping to help him go through all the ‘pictures/movies’ he saw in his mind when he closed his eyes. He even talked like a different person when he was in this panic attack. As if I was seeing his dark side or another part of him that I hadn’t met before. His body was very stiff again (all the achieved success from the last years was gone in one day) and he was so cold. I can tell you now, that the temperature the last week was awful for him, and for me, especially during the nights. I was up so much to help him go to the toilet or drink some water, but I was freezing (although I was wearing a lot of clothes). Jan’s fingers and feet were cold and blue constantly. He was using a little electric blanket to warm his hands in bed but it wasn’t enough.

When the sun rose Thursday morning, I thanked God that we managed to survive the night and we arrived at this day. This afternoon Jan would have his treatment from the practitioner. It was a matter of counting the hours till it was time to go. I brought my daughter to vacation care, where she was booked in. And I brought Jan’s daughter to a playdate that I arranged the day before. I just wanted for them to have a good time and I thought that would be more possible outside our house at the moment. One of the things of being an empath is that I’m kind of tuning in on the needs of everyone in our house and trying to help them being fulfilled. The difficult side of that, is that I sometimes feel like I’m dropping of or ‘parking’ my girls somewhere instead of taking care of them myself, and that I literally feel everything Jan feels and goes through. I asked the universe to help me to block all the feelings of Jan because I really couldn’t handle that anymore and it worked. I know it’s temporary, but it’s necessary to survive right now. Until noon this day Jan threw up (remember this started Tuesday night). We were looking at the clock constantly. At 12.30 pm I could finally take Jan to his treatment. I have to say that his practitioner was quite shocked to see him this bad too. She’s very experienced with immune disease cases and she has experienced what Jan’s going through, herself too, so she absolutely knows what’s happening, which gives us a comforting feeling. She gave him healing and got him unto homeopathic medications (the only thing Jan’s body could handle now, she said) and received information from her guides that he needed food in his stomach because there was acid coming up continuously. She started to feed him mini pieces of banana. She confirmed to me that Jan was afraid to go to sleep because he unconsciously thought that he wouldn’t wake up anymore. An unconscious fear of death. This was exactly what I had noticed. He kept himself awake and he was so afraid to go to sleep, and I had seen and felt and known death around him the last 1.5 days. I had seen death in his eyes. So, Jan had panic attacks; panic to die. It was heart rending to witness that Jan had chosen such a difficult health issue for this life. But at the other hand, it would be a great opportunity (and challenge!) to make an incredibly personal growth too. The reason for Jan’s racing heart was already resolved (he got rid of that in the last treatment) so he would never need a cardioversion again for a racing heart. The cause had all to do with emotions from the past that were triggered. Exactly what doctors in a hospital can’t fix for you. Honestly, I would so much want the regular circuit to work together with the alternative circuit. We were confronted too many times with doctors in hospitals just solving things short term but don’t take away the cause of the problem. And the only thing they can do, is pump you full with toxic medicines, which aren’t helpful when your immune system is weak. In the alternative circuit Jan is busy for the last years to detox his body, but it often feels like trying to dry out a flooded room without turning off the taps.

After his treatment, the practitioner and I brought Jan to another room and I had to feed him more pieces of banana while he was receiving healing of the angels and recovering. He also uses a Tri-Vortex disc now, which is doing amazing work. It’s a little disc that helps you with balancing your chakras, settling your emotions, providing more focus, and structuring water for super hydration and EMF protection. It’s taped on his body and it becomes super hot from all the polluted energy it pulls out of Jan’s body. After 2.5 hours we went back home again. I am in charge of his meds now, according to the practitioner. Jan was too enthusiastic with increasing the amount of his naturopath drops last week. It’s true, Jan is very stubborn and has the desire to be healthy so strong, that he didn’t listen last week when I said he could only increase the amount of drops a little bit to see if his body could handle it. When the girls came back home, they could see immediately that Jan was feeling much better. The colour of his face was much more back to normal again and he had a calmer look in his eyes. The girls cooked dinner tonight and had much fun with it. They offered it and it really helped us out. I felt very grateful for their offer and I enjoyed dinner. It’s beautiful to see how both girls cope completely different with the situation, but also that they want to help.

On Friday Jan was already going better. He ate a little bit and could already drink more. Sleeping was still very restless. But… he was building up his way to health again. I realised that Jan went through the eye of a needle Wednesday and Thursday morning, and that was a shock. I know I’m good in crisis situations. I automatically go to a helicopter view, see and know what needs to be done, I’m a good organiser and I even get creative in finding solutions. But after the real crisis has passed, the real feelings come in and have to be integrated. When a friend called (I don’t remember if it was on Thursday), I told him it’s very hard to deal with this all alone and I could hardly finish my sentence because of my emotions and tears. The timing of this crisis happening in the school holiday is so bad. But the last weeks I pulled the oracle card ‘helpful people’ a lot. Now I know what that meant. I explained the girls yesterday that I’m not sending them away from our house, but that I hope a playdate at a friend’s place can provide more joy for them than being at home with a super ill dad and seeing him struggle so hard. And that I just wish for them to have a nice school holiday, but that I can’t give them a lot right now. Today they went to vacation care which was already booked in and they had a ball of three hours ice skating in Sydney. Jans’ daughter had guitar lessons at the time that the bus wasn’t back from vacation care. Unpredictable situation; I was in time to pick her up, and now I just had to sit down and wait until they arrived. I asked the universe to send angels before the busses and clear the road, get all the traffic lights green and help them arrive in a miraculous time. They arrived 15 minutes later (they announced to be there in 20 minutes, so there happened some magic there). Friday night we decided to bake pancakes and the girls baked them and had fun.

Saturday Jan was still improving. He ate a bit more than yesterday but now he ate it in 75 minutes instead of 4 hours yesterday. He drank a lot today and you could see him improving. It was a very stressful day because my daughter had her dancing concert. Parents of her school friend offered to pick her up and drop her back home for the concert, where their daughters would perform also. I am the type of mum that can’t stand it to not go and watch my daughter perform, so I would just come at 11 am until she had performed. I brought Jan’s daughter to a school friend for a playdate. Jan started to go to bed more (instead of sitting in the living room) and finally slept a bit better. This was so necessary and finally he managed to sleep more. During the day I called the practitioner and heard that it was perfect that he ate more and drank a lot and he didn’t need to come for an extra treatment this afternoon. It was just that I needed to pick up some sleeping remedy spray, which we both forgot about Thursday. That would help him sleep better. I took the girls out for a quick dinner at Subway this night. I explained them this was the best I could offer as a holiday dinner because we couldn’t leave Jan alone too long. They appreciated and enjoyed this dinner and thought it was good, considering the circumstances.

The nights were still very busy. Jan finally slept better and longer, but still made a lot of sounds with his throat when he was restless. Since Tuesday he had these ‘pictures and little movies’ in his mind and he still fought against them. He didn’t want to see them. He just wanted to sleep without them. I explained him that after so many nights and days of sleep, his brain hadn’t integrated all information it normally ‘saves’ at night in your mind. I told him he had to acknowledge these pictures and movies, and just let them pass. They will integrate then and be ‘saved’ in his mind, and after that, sleep will follow. I had to breathe with him to help him see the pictures and movies in his mind and to stay calm while letting them pass. And then he fell asleep again. Also he woke up many times to go to the toilet and he needed help to do that. This meant I still didn’t sleep a lot. I fell asleep easily (thank you angels!) but my sleep was interrupted heaps of times during a night.

Sunday it was all still very well with Jan drinking a lot, but eating stayed difficult. Swallowing was hard and I wouldn’t advise someone to see him eating, because most people would be afraid to watch it. I can handle it but if I really think about it, it’s not something you would choose to witness. Jan’s friend, who works in hospital, came over with some appliances. I finally could shower Jan in a special chair, because he was too weak to stand in the shower. I washed him so far with a face washer while sitting or lying in bed. He loved the shower and felt refreshed afterwards. I told him he had to eat more because his body needs that and we managed to get him eat a bit more. At night he even went to the toilet (with the wheelchair we got to use now) and we witnessed the detox process going on there. Amazing with so little food. The body started working again! I noticed this night that I could sleep while standing, when I was waiting for Jan. And when I waited in bed while he was in the bathroom, I asked the angels to keep me awake to hear when he was ready. I told Jan to tick 3x on the wall when he was ready, because we didn’t want to wake up my daughter.

Monday morning started wrong. Jan had slept very well, although he had to go to the bathroom a lot of times. He ate a little bit, but he felt he had to throw up again. And he did. I saw it definitely wasn’t food, but more the same as Tuesday last week. I realised this must be the body detoxing with the help of the naturopathic drops. Nothing to be afraid of. I checked this with the practitioner and got it confirmed. I assume lots of people would freak out of what I saw, but I remained calm. Sometimes it’s handy to be claircognizant (clear knowing). Jan is very weak at the moment, and sleeping the whole day. He still can suddenly have the fast breathing and restlessness and he yells my name then to come and help him. He totally leans on me, but I can handle it so far. I ask the universe several times a day to help me to handle the situation, to provide me with energy and helpful people. This week we only have my daughter at home, so it’s a matter of arranging playdates outside the house for her. We live from day to day, and I don’t know how long it’ll take Jan to be able to move around himself again. At the moment he has painful hands and feet. And he still is very emotional. I talked with him about putting my side of the story what’s going on in our lives on internet, and he agreed to do that. It really feels that it’s time to share with the world how health can be a battle. That faith is the only thing that’ll get you through it. That it can also be a battle with yourself. With your beliefs and emotions and dark side. Jan’s health looks to me like a huge battle. He’s getting there, but he had to go really deep. I assume not everyone could handle this. And I think because of my great connection to the universe, I am still handling it all. This weekend I said as a joke, that I can apply for a nurse quite soon with my new experiences. Jan answered that he really appreciates everything I do and with tears in my eyes I replied: “That’s what we agreed to in our marriage, remember? We said it’s normal to take care of each other, also when it’s difficult. We can handle everything together, because you’re my true love and I won’t let you go!” I have the confirmation via mediums that Jan and I will have a long time before us to live together, so the sun is shining somewhere in the future for Jan’s health. It’s a matter of living day by day and we’ll find out when the day is that we celebrate his perfect health! What keeps me going right now? The picture in my mind where Jan, our daughters and I are standing in the sea in summertime, where we wait for a huge wave to come. Then we dive all four at the same time under this wave and we jump up afterwards with full excitement. Can you see this picture too now? Please send all your love, healing, light, blessings and angelic help to Jan to recover to perfect health. Light a candle for him. And help us manifest our dream by visualising my picture of us four diving in the waves.

Thank you to all the people so far who helped us the last week and who have planned to help us this week. We couldn’t do without your help and we appreciate all your help. It’s great to know we’re not alone in this and it’s amazing how helpful you all are. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

When you want to communicate about your true feelings in a situation, or when you want to address a problem to someone, or when you want to approach someone with a request, what do you do?

You can feel several fears; a fear of not being able to speak at all when you’re standing in front of the person, that your voice will be shaky or you will burst into tears. Or a fear of what the other person will think of you. Or a fear of being intimidated by the other person’s temper and that he/she could become angry at you.

So, what do you do? Are you courageous and do you walk to this person and start the conversation? Or would you rather avoid the confrontation?

There is a way to communicate with another person where you can tell exactly what you want without being interrupted or receiving a negative reaction! Read here how.

You can communicate in a visualised conversation with the person where you speak from your heart. It’s all on energy level and that’s why it is very powerful.

1. Sit down in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.
2. Close your eyes and visualise the person standing in front of you.
3. [You have decided on forehand what subject you want to talk about.] Right now you’re telling (with your mind but out loud is even more powerful) everything you want to say about this subject. Tell it from your heart and if you have emotions with it, tell your emotions too. If you have to shed a tear, that’s all okay. You are safe and you are the only one who knows. Allow yourself to get it all off your chest.
4. Tell the other what you want from him/her. Do you want an apology, do you want him/her to treat you different from now on, do you want him/her to leave your life? Make it very clear.
5. Look at the face of the other person and see if he/she received your message. If the subject was a situation that happened previously in which you felt negativity, you can say out loud that you send all energy about the situation back to the sender, transformed in love & light. In case of a belief of the other person projected to you, you can send the belief back to the owner. It’s not yours and it’s his/her responsibility to receive it back. Make sure the person receives everything. If you experience problems with that, ask for the help of angels to let them receive.
6. Thank the person.
7. Be conscious of what you feel after this visualised conversation and open your eyes if you feel ready.
8. Let it all go and trust that the outcome you desire, will happen in the right time. Be open to receive your desired outcome.

Separations and divorces are happening a lot the last years, and maybe you’re in such a situation yourself lately. It’s often a huge decision to separate and divorce, which will change your whole life. When you have children with your ex-partner, you’ll ask yourself often if you’re doing it the right way and if you can handle it all. Besides a lot of emotions and trying to get agreements about dividing the possessions and the custody of your children, you’re also still a role model for your children. They learn from you how to handle stress and how to stand up for yourself. And that can be pretty hard in such a life changing situation, especially when you’re not in a smoothly going communication situation anymore with your ex-partner.

Let’s go through the issues I hear most from clients in a time of separation/divorce:

• Worrying and being so busy in your mind with everything you have to make decisions about and what you have to arrange, which causes that you can’t sleep.
• There seems to be not enough time in one day and you’re skipping meals, skipping drinking enough water, and skipping exercising, and it feels like you’re losing or lost control.
• Everything comes to YOU, you’re so busy as a single parent to do everything alone, you’re overflowing and it feels like you have to be superwoman.
• You’re overwhelmed of all emotions, think about: anger, sadness, hurt, disappointment, failure, guilt, fears, powerlessness, vulnerability, not supported and not understood. In a situation of difficulties to get a settlement with your ex-partner, you can experience huge fears and stress because you have to go to court and are at the mercy of ‘the legal system’.
• You have a huge ‘to do list’, but you’re not able to focus, concentrate and prioritise.
• You want time for yourself, but there isn’t really an opportunity.
• Having many uncertainties about your future, think about: finding a new house, arranging the finances to pay all bills to get the settlement with your ex-partner on paper but also the finances as a single parent to pay for everything you and your children need to have a healthy and happy life, wondering if you’ll ever have a new loving partner and if you’ll ever be able to trust a partner again.
• You want to love your children and provide a safe, healthy and joyful life for them, but you can’t give it right now because of how you feel and you wish you could read their minds about the whole situation. Often your children play up because they sense how you feel and they can even become ill or very angry and upset (think about tantrums) which gives even more stress.

Here’s a list how you can best take care of yourself in a time of separation/divorce:

1. Put yourself in the first place; if you don’t take good care of yourself, you can’t take good care of your children
2. Believe in yourself. You can handle everything in your life.
3. Protect your energy, anchor yourself and cleanse your energy when you wake up and when you go to sleep. You can use my free guided meditation for this, see: http://astridboot.com.au/free-gifts/. Say out loud daily (or as often as you want): All energy I’ve given away or left behind, returns to me now, transformed in love and light.
4. Eat healthy, drink a lot of water, exercise daily (a short walk in nature does miracles and can clear your mind and give you new insights also, or do yoga with free online lessons) and rest/sleep enough. Also treat yourself well by getting a massage or healing, go floating (http://www.cocoonfloatation.com.au/), or visit a sauna.
5. Ask for help and delegate tasks. You can ask family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, but also the universe with so many angels available for you.
6. Tell your children it’s a decision of you and your ex-partner to divorce, it’s an adult decision and it has nothing to do with them, and that you both still love your children now and forever.
7. Explain your children in a for their age understandable way how you feel, how you’re going to resolve that and tell them when you’re feeling is changed into a better feeling. I’d like to give an example from my personal life while I was in a divorce situation in 2009: When my ex-husband and I had words in the evening and this had triggered anger in me, I explained my daughter of 3 years old the next day: ‘mummy is feeling angry because of something dad and I spoke about last night, but tonight I’ll have a talk with him again and then it will be resolved’. I had the talk that night and told her the next morning: ‘mummy had a talk with dad last night and I’m not angry anymore. Everything is fine again’. Children are very sensitive and without telling them how you feel, they’ll know anyway. They don’t understand the feelings they experience and start to create their own interpretation, which is often wrongly interpreted and turning into beliefs as: it’s my fault, I’m causing all these problems, I’m bad, my parents don’t love me anymore, etc.
8. Always speak positive about your ex-partner to your children. Otherwise your children get confused about love and feel they have to choose between two parents, which is an impossible choice to make.
9. Teach your children to protect their energy, how to anchor themselves and how to cleanse their energy. It can be fun to do the guided meditation on my website together, see: http://astridboot.com.au/free-gifts/. Make it a new daily routine in your house.
10. Keep an eye on how your children are coping with the whole process of divorce. Trust your intuition as a loving parent and when you have the feeling they need help to release their emotions, arrange that help (think about healing or therapy).
11. Write a list of how your life is in an ideal situation with all your wishes fulfilled and you and your children being happy, joyful, at peace and abundant. See it before you, feel it in your body because that’s how you are manifesting what you want. Ask the universe to help you to have this ideal life. Be open for signs and guidance and trust your intuition in this to take action steps.
12. Of course you can ask help from the universe with everything in your life. Tell the universe your worries, fears and with what you need help. Also ask to have faith. Be open for signs and guidance and trust your intuition in this to take action steps. Have faith, believe you’re protected, safe and loved. And only focus on positivity and the Light.
13. Ask Archangel Michael to come to you with his golden sword of light, to cut all cords to your ex-partner (except pure, unconditional love if you prefer) on physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level, in all directions of time and on cell memory level. Then ask him to encircle all cut cords and attachments in his purple net of Light and to take this for you to the universe where it will all be transformed in love and light for you.

If you need help for yourself or your child(ren), I can offer you healing sessions. This can be done in my practice room, or on Skype or over the phone, but also on distance by using a photo and email. It often starts with cleansing your energy, adding energy and ‘emptying’ your mind, and then releasing emotions and beliefs that are blocking you. I can help you with the grieving process and approaching your future with faith and optimism again. If your children need help, I can offer a kid’s healing session. Children are very fast in releasing their blocking emotions. You’ll provide them a tool for life. I always advice children to teach this releasing technique to others too who can use it in their lives.

Do you recognise the feeling that your heart is not completely open? That you can’t let love completely come in? Are you afraid that love makes you so vulnerable that you’ll lose control over yourself? That love will overwhelm you?

For most of my clients the cause of the above is that they’ve been hurt before in a relationship. In a romantic relationship or in a close friendship. And it often goes back to childhood experiences with the relationship of their parents. At some unconscious point in life they decided to close their hearts. It’s a decision to protect themselves.

A way to protect yourself is that you have built a wall of protection around your heart. Mostly to protect yourself from feeling the emotions like pain and hurt, from what happened in your relationship. Your fear of being vulnerable and getting hurt (again). But also fear of another disappointment about a dream that didn’t come true. Or a belief that true love wasn’t meant to be for you, or that you don’t get a second chance with love.

Do you feel it’s time for you too to open up your heart and move forward in life? And don’t you know how?

If you believe, like me, that you chose this life with all its lessons, you know deep inside that you can handle everything that happens in your life. Everything happens to learn from it and it makes you stronger. This means you can handle the emotions you have blocked from the past where you were hurt and afraid. They’re making you stuck at the moment. You need to allow your emotions, feelings and beliefs to be there completely and give all your attention to them, and then you can release them. From experience I can tell you that the fear of facing them is often bigger than to actually allow them and release them. The result is that the tightness in your chest and heart area disappears and your aura expands; you’ll feel more space around you. It’s like freedom, a new opening. Visualise your heart as a beautiful flower and let it blossom open with all its petals. Do this daily and visualise a golden protection light around it.

You deserve love. You are lovable! See yourself in that situation with your heart open, and feel how good that feels.