Love is something beautiful, but also untouchable. It’s different for everyone. Hard to describe. It’s a feeling. When you can allow it completely, it’s a deep feeling and it’s terrific. It can bring you to a higher level.
But when you are afraid of it, you build a wall around yourself as protection. Even if you want love in your life but you had bad experiences with love, i.e. in your relationship with your parents or during a previous relationship with your partner, you can be afraid to let love come in again
Let’s go in a bit deeper on what part love played during your childhood. How was the relationship between your parents? Was there love? Was it true love? How did the love between your parents feel for you? Did your parents love you? How did their love for you feel? Was their communication at home about love and feelings?
In treatments I get to hear a lot of stories about parents of clients who are together for a long time but without love that you can feel. Parents who take care of each other, out of responsibility. But also parents who experienced so much hurt in families that they have become afraid of love. They don’t want to let love in anymore, because it can hurt so deep. They want to avoid the hurt and pain love can cause. When you, as their child, are a sensitive person, this can bring you into a conflict with yourself; you want true love in your life, in a relationship with a partner, but you were taught by your parents (by feeling, hearing and observing) that love is something dangerous cause it can hurt so much. Recently in a reading I received the message again about a client’s parents that they were both afraid of love cause they felt so vulnerable; love had hurt them so much in the past. They felt so vulnerable that they built a wall around themselves. Love was not going to come in anymore. My very sensitive client told that his parents never talked about feelings or emotions. But he was looking for what love means and really is.
It’s true that love can hurt and can cause a lot of pain. But it can also teach you a lot of new things like beautiful feelings and insights. And it can teach you a lot about yourself too. We all came to this planet Earth to learn new lessons that we chose ourselves. Relationships are an intense way to learn a lot. If you feel vulnerable, you probably have the wall of protection around you. If you think of love and relationship as an opportunity to learn and grow, you can open your heart and experience. Evaluate regularly with yourself if your relationship still feels good for you. If not, talk with your partner about your feelings. Find out if your feelings are triggered by previous experiences and release them. And if after that you still don’t feel good about your relationship, ask yourself: is this still the right relationship for me? Is the love I give and receive in balance? Can I work on that with my partner to fix it or did we already try and didn’t we manage to solve this? It can mean that it’s time to move on, that you’ve learned what you had to learn from this relationship and continue your journey of life. If that’s the case, take your time and make a decision: do you want to stay and accept the situation how it is? Or do you want to move on, take your experiences with you and grow further, maybe with another partner in future?
When you go deeper than this, you’ll come to the layer of love that is loving yourself. How much do you love yourself? Measure it on a scale of 0-100 and your answer is the first number that pops up in your mind. If you don’t love yourself enough yet, it’s hard to give and receive love too. You’re more in a relationship to try to get your ‘needs’ fulfilled by your partner (can be unconscious), than that you can have an equal relationship. Discover what’s holding you back from loving yourself completely and release this cause. You can definitely ask the help of your spirit guides, the angels and God or The Source to achieve this. Let them help you to fill yourself with Divine Love and to be able to feel love. To feel yourself worthy, to deserve love and to protect your boundaries in relationships.