The last month I have had so many female clients with sexual abuse trauma. First of all, it’s great to see these women making the decision to change their lives and free themselves from their past. It’s a true honour to assist them in releasing their traumatic experiences and transforming them into positive, supportive thoughts in their mind and taking actions to live a happier life.
Secondly, it’s amazing how brave these women are, and have been. They have carried an inner child with them that is scared to death, is often walking on eggshells in life, pleasing the world to avoid people getting mad at her and because of this the child has lost the connection with its Self. These women don’t have boundaries because of what has happened and notice in life that people take advantage of them by crossing their boundaries and using their kindness and pleasing nature.
The inner child has often created beliefs that are limiting, and has taken full blame for what has happened on herself, even though she knows it wasn’t her fault. Her boundaries were crossed without being able to defend herself. It was often in a situation with a person she trusted too, so her faith in people has been damaged too. The safe haven of protection she believed she was in as a child, has been broken. Safety turned out to be not safe anymore. How do you protect yourself when you’re a young, insecure, small child?
Imagine how your belief of being worthy is changed by a traumatic experience like sexual abuse. When you have taken full blame of what happened to you (often a result of adults telling you that it was your fault), you’ve taken on the responsibility that isn’t yours, also. In a spiritual therapy session we always work on expressing all emotions, feelings and thoughts to the perpetrator and also telling the perpetrator how they want to be treated from now on (this can mean they never want to see the perpetrator anymore), sending back all energy from the traumatic experience to the perpetrator, and then a very important one: calling back their own power, energy and all parts of themselves. This is a huge energy exchange and feels very powerful. Most of the time, I can sense the shift with this calling back of their own power, and owning their power and feeling complete and whole again.
Of course it’s hard to come to forgiveness, but all my clients have come to the insight that unforgiveness keeps them stuck and attached to the past trauma. They have come to forgiving their perpetrator fully, not because they approve what they did to them, but because they want to move on with life. And this forgiveness is still possible in cases where the perpetrator is deceased in the meantime. After forgiveness, my clients came to full forgiveness of themselves for what had happened including their feelings, emotions and thoughts & beliefs as a result of the traumatic experience. They have set themselves free. A weight has been lifted off their shoulders. They felt literally lighter, the heaviness was removed. They found back the connection with themselves, and their heart. It’s still a way to go, because they have to learn to set their boundaries, protect their boundaries by communicating clearly and standing up for what they want. This goes in steps, but is a rewarding process because they gain confidence with every step they take.
The adult client helps the inner child, tells her she’s loved and appreciated, and beautiful, and worthy and deserving, and safe from now on. The inner child receives love and gets a new safe place when being integrated with my client to be one.
I believe it’s amazing how these women have taken back their lives in their own hands. It makes my day to see a woman leaving after a spiritual therapy session with a lighter energy, a softer, more relaxed skin in their face, a personal space around them, and being way more grounded to mother earth, but also with new hope for a happier life and a new opportunity to achieve their goals. They had put themselves at the bottom of their priority list and have now moved themselves to the top of their priority list. They understand how important it is to take excellent care of themselves, to nurture their body and mind and to give love to themselves. And this is exactly the lesson for everyone on the planet earth: love yourself and enjoy life as much as possible. Do the things you like and that make you happy. Be grateful for what you have, dream big and take action steps to achieve your dreams. You can do it. You have everything you need inside yourself. You are a beautiful person and you deserve everything and only the best.