When a loved one crosses over (from this life to Home) and there were special circumstances around the passing, you can wonder if he/she is angry or upset about what happened. Some examples: you weren’t in time to come and say goodbye for the last time, you didn’t say ‘I love you’ before he/she passed, you had a fight and you couldn’t solve it before he/she passed, you had to make decisions for your loved one and you’re afraid he/she doesn’t agree with these decisions (i.e.: to end life support or to move your loved one to a caring place or hospital). All these examples leave emotions and feelings and they keep you stuck in the past. It’s very difficult to move forward in the grieving process.

When people come to me for a reading where they want contact with a deceased loved one, they’re hoping for a positive answer, forgiveness or a confirmation they made the right choice for their loved one. But yes, they sometimes are very scared for the answer too.

Cutout heart in wooden doorLet me explain a bit more how it is after you crossed over. Where you finally are, is a place where everything is perfect. There is Light and Love. Everybody is at peace. If you want to study, you can. If you want to meditate, you can. If you want to meet others, you can. You can also learn more about the people still living on earth, the choices they made and why they made these choices. You are compassionate about them and their choices because you understand it all from where you are. You can forgive them. But… what you need is that the person on earth also forgives you.

If you, on earth, are struggling with feelings, emotions and questions or negative thoughts about how the deceased person feels and thinks about you, you both can’t move forward as much as you want. It’s very important to forgive; yourself and the deceased person. You can definitely ask God and the angels to help you. Imagine a box before you where you send all the feelings, emotions and thoughts to. Ask the angels to take the box from you to the Universe where it all will be transformed in love and light. Tell your deceased loved one (in your mind or out loud) that you forgive him/her and yourself for what happened. Feel the release and the peace now.

Back to the readings. Deceased loved ones only send messages of love to you. They want the best for you and they want you to move on with your life, to enjoy life and to be at peace. They understand your choices from where they are and they want to forgive you, because they know that’s necessary to move on. They are not angry or upset. There’s one exception I had a few times where a deceased loved one gave me feelings as sadness. That was in the case of people on earth being unfair about the heritage. The deceased loved one will try to help and support from the Other Side to handle everything in the right fair way, but it all stays a matter of choice from people living on earth. Everybody has free will and can decide to not listen to what they are guided to do.

One last thing. I had the question a few times about the decision of a funeral for the deceased loved one instead of a cremation. When you know the person who passed away had a wish to be cremated and others decide it had to be a funeral, here’s some good news for you. Your deceased loved one is fine with what’s decided. The body died, the soul moved on and is still alive. They don’t mind what was chosen. They want you to have contact with them, tell them about the things happening in your life (the good things but also your worries and other feelings) and to feel the connection. They are still around you and they are there for you. Just ask them to come to you if you want their help. They’ll be glad to help you, to support and guide you. They just want you to be happy and move on. That makes them happy. It’s that simple actually.