You’re giving, giving, giving to others. It’s an act of kindness and you want others to feel good so that they think positive about you. You’re scared others don’t like you. You’re looking for their appreciation, approval and love. It’s like you give yourself away to others in the hope you’ll receive the evidence from them that you are good enough for who you are.
What impact does this behaviour have on your life?
You put aside your own needs completely;
- You let others cross your boundaries;
- You feel unhappy;
- You feel powerless;
- You get disappointed in others;
- You lose yourself, your identity/authenticity;
- You get hurt.
Because you have this hope to receive others’ appreciation, approval and love you often feel hurt by others. They don’t give you back what you give to them. It’s never in balance. It can even cause anger, frustration or resentment inside you. But you never stop giving.
When you become more conscious about your behaviour, you might notice that a lot of emotions round this behaviour are in your heart and that you’re trying to protect yourself from being hurt, from the pain it causes inside you. You start to notice others let you down by saying hurtful words about your behaviour. You feel that others have the power over you, that you are out of control about what’s happening in your life.
What is actually happening here?
Because you’re looking for approval of who you are, you’re giving the power over you away to others and you’re hoping to receive confirmation that you’re good enough and approved for who you are. But no one can give you that approval that you are good as you are. Not even The Creator. The only one who can give that approval to you is YOU! Just let this sink in for a moment; You can approve YourSelf.
This is a big realisation. It can stop your search for approval. It can stop your pattern of behaviour towards others. It can change your life!
How can you change your situation?
By connecting to your heart and saying out loud: I choose now to approve who I am and to believe I am fine as I am, I love myself as I am.
You might feel a resistance to say this, but don’t let this stop you and keep repeating the sentence, first maybe in your mind and then out loud, until you can say it easily and in a flow.
What a relief. You might feel lighter and even a breakthrough. It helps to bring you back in your power, to stand up for yourself, to not let others walk over you any longer, to live your life being YOU and not being scared anymore what others think of you. It’s freedom to be YOU.
If you need assistance to come to this point of approving yourself completely, apply for a FREE Explore your Happiness session now. Fill out the form in this link https://astridboot.com.au/free-explore-your-happiness-session/ and I’ll contact you within 24 hours to schedule an appointment for a 30 mins free call.