Many clients ask me what self-help tools I use and I’d like to share my five favourite ones here with you. They’re simple and very effective. Here they are:

  1. Breathing
  2. Meditating
  3. Exercising
  4. Reiki
  5. EFT Tapping


Recently I’ve discovered the enormous effect of deeply breathing into your lower tummy in 3 counts, then hold your breath 3 counts, breathe out in 4 or 5 counts, hold your breath in 3 counts, and repeat this cycle again. If you have digestive issues like constipation, lying down and do this breathing exercise helps to get the food moving further in your bowel. If you want to help the digestion further, you can massage gently where your intestines are from the right side to the left side to move and propel your stool forward. While breathing, you might notice your bowel making noises, which can be evidence for relaxation and stool movement.


When you’re stressed or super busy, meditation is a conscious choice of allowing yourself to be in the present, ground yourself, and acknowledge what’s happening in your body. You’re connecting with where you notice your body asks your attention. You can also connect with your heart and ask what you need to know right now, and what your heart’s desires are, what your heart needs from you, and how you can give that to your heart. You can visualise a gate on top of your head, you can open it and let all thoughts fly out there into the universe to be transformed in love & light. Then close your gate again and your mind will feel so much calmer.

There are different ways of meditation, e.g.: just focusing on your breathing, traveling in your imagination to a safe place, or following a guided meditation so a voice leads you on a little journey.
I have a free meditation audio of about 10 minutes that you can do every morning when you wake up and every evening before you go to sleep on my website page: On YouTube you can find many free guided meditations including mindfulness.


Especially yoga and Pilates are great ways to feel the connection with your body again, to get back to be in the present, and to forget about the stress of daily life and busyness because you have to focus on your balance and breathing during the positions and exercises. It always makes my mind quiet and makes me deeply grateful for what my body does for me. And it’s wonderful to experience that with every breathing out you can stretch further and make your body more flexible.

Of course a walk in nature is a super effective and free self-help tool too. It helps to ground yourself again, to quiet your mind and it’s a workout at the same time too. If you listen to a meditation or self-love affirmations while walking, that provides extra benefits. Connecting with nature (also in ways of reading a book under a tree, or taking a dive in the ocean is a wonderful tool to relax and recharge your energy.


Self-healing with Reiki is absolutely amazing because it’s so relaxing that you can fall asleep fast. I often use this when I get into bed, give healing on my head, chest, and when my hands come on my tummy, I fall asleep in a very relaxed state. If I wake up during the night and can’t sleep immediately, I use Reiki self-healing again and it mostly helps to get back to sleep again. Reiki also helps to calm you when you experience anxiety, stress, fears and grief. It creates new space in your mind when you feel there doesn’t fit any extra thought in there anymore. It’s like archiving your thoughts so that there can come in new insights and guidance from the universe that is useful for your life. And as a mum I can say Reiki is also a great tool to give healing to your child when they are restless, anxious, scared (great to use Reiki after a scary dream!), sick, or in pain. My daughter asked for my healing hands when she was sick in primary school time. It helped her to fall asleep in a relaxed state.

EFT Tapping

I sometimes forget about tapping because I use Reiki as a first tool, but tapping is very powerful and simple to use. There are acupressure points on your head and chest that you tap on while just breathing and focusing on what happens in your body and mind. It helps to say out loud what you’re noticing like: ‘I am anxious, I feel that in my chest, it’s tight there and it feels as if someone is pressing on my chest, now I feel a lump in my throat, it makes me feel sad when I feel that, I’m sad about …, etc.’ Because you keep on tapping on the points, you’re helping to release your feelings, emotions and thoughts so your body and mind get into a calm(er) and relaxed state.

If you’d like to learn how to give a Reiki healing, I teach Reiki this Sunday (21st March from 9 am – 5 pm in Wollongong NSW) and there are 2 spots left. You can enrol here:

The first incident happens in your life. It’s hard but it doesn’t knock you out. Then the second happens, and the third. It keeps going until all parts of your life have collapsed like a house of cards. Things were building up, but the collapse happened in a very short time frame. And you can’t handle it anymore. You’re overwhelmed, anxious, in panic, and you can’t relax anymore, you can’t even think clearly anymore. And you’re so tired. You look at yourself in the mirror and don’t recognise your face anymore from the stress.

It’s been enough!

You need a break, a time-out from everything to rest and get yourSelf back together again. But it’s hard to announce this to the people around you because you feel incredibly embarrassed.  You’re unhappy, stuck and lost, but you can also see that you have beautiful things in your life too which you are grateful for.

A huge opportunity to have a breakthrough

Do you recognise the above situation? The last month I’ve had many clients contacting me describing this situation in their lives. My first reaction is that there’s no need to be embarrassed about anything that life has thrown at you. You’re human and it’s okay to feel this right now. The best way to see your situation of your life having collapsed like a house of cards, is as a huge opportunity to have a breakthrough.

Lots of energy from your past has come to the surface at once to be released and you can have your (spiritual) awakening where you connect with your heart and true heart’s desires. When you connect with them, you can make choices with big impacts for your life and happiness. You can finally live from your heart instead of from your mind. Your heart can rule your life so you can live your purpose and experience fulfilment.

This is the big breakthrough that many people will experience; after releasing the energy from your past that has come to the surface, you’ll shine your light and every light that starts to shine, is one more light on the planet earth. This will continue till the planet is enlightened and we’ll be one big light. More and more lights are shining and together we can make this happen.

Free Explore your Happiness Session offer

Help each other to shine our lights. If you’re in the described situation above and can use professional help to build up your house of cards again, I can offer 5 people a FREE Explore your Happiness Session by phone of approx. 30 minutes. You can read all about this free session on this page and apply to get one yourself.

What your body tells you

Recently I was confronted with physical pain that came out of nowhere and was quite unbearable. The pain increased rapidly in my shoulder and every move hurt. I took action and saw my awesome remedial massage therapist the same day for a treatment. A few tears rolled over my face from the pain, but straight after the session there I had a big cry with an emotional release. It was a new experience because I had never cried out so loud with someone else present. Driving home was painful because I could not really lift my arm without support to use my indicator. It’s amazing how often you have to use your indicator 😊. I had to cancel sports class that night because all I wanted, was to lie down and sleep. I felt miserable.

The next day it was still very painful, so I had a doctor looking at it. I could see on the screen during the ultra sound scan that there was clearly something wrong that caused the pain. A few weeks later, everything is way better and I can move my arms again without pain thankfully. One specific action I needed to take as an effect of what was happening physically to me, was that I had to cancel my client appointments. I absolutely felt terrible about that. First I thought it was only a few days, but it turned out I had to reschedule clients after a week again. I still wasn’t in a space of being able to work with clients. I was flabbergasted about what was happening in my body because I was only shortly back from an amazing relaxing holiday week where I had recharged my energy.

I am normally passionate about working with my clients to assist them in healing, but this time I felt I couldn’t be bothered. This was a complete new experience for me. I’ve learned that my soul wanted me to take time for me, time for self-healing, and that’s exactly what I did without any guilt feelings. I had a few sessions myself for healing and released lots of emotions from the past. I also worked on myself daily, meditated and went for a walk along the beach whenever it was dry outside. It brought peace in my mind and grounding. Again, I have never in the 15 years I’m doing this work, had to cancel client appointments for two weeks!

At the end of last week I noticed that I was starting to feel excited again to work with my clients, I could feel the passion back in my heart, I wanted to go back to sports class again and felt more motivation to take actions again. I’m still meditating daily of course and I’m also still making a long walk in nature daily while listening to self-love affirmations on my phone. That last one is a very powerful tool I’ve discovered; try it because you will feel so empowered after your walk with the affirmations! The Soul Sisters Healing Workshop on Valentine’s Day was my start again, and it was a lovely workshop with beautiful people, healing and messages for everyone.

What I’ve experienced is that it is incredibly rewarding to listen to what your body is telling you and to take actions upon that. Taking the time for myself to heal was necessary to bring me where I am now. Even with my first sports class earlier this week, I tuned in and asked in my mind with every exercise where arms were used, if my shoulders could handle that. A few times I got a ‘no’ answer and didn’t do the exercise or asked the teacher for an alternative exercise. And I didn’t give 100% with the arm strengthening exercises, but focused on the movement this lesson. As the teacher often says: ‘focus on the mind-body connection’. That sentence now resonated fully with me. Just moving again with a little resistance for strength was enough for my body.

In case you’ve also noticed your physical body is giving you signs in the form of pain, restrictions or tiredness, and you keep being busy and still running around as if nothing has happened, I’d like you to take a few minutes. Just sit down and connect with your body. Ask it what’s happening. Acknowledge this to your body. And then ask what it needs you to do to help. You might be surprised what answers you receive in the form of thoughts, images or feelings. Take these answers seriously, because when you don’t listen to your body and keep running being busy, your body will come with a more serious signal to make you stop and take time to rest and release. It’ll take longer to recover then, so better take every signal seriously when it presents itself.

If you would like advice about what you’re experiencing in your body and life and how you can best deal with it, and how to release your feelings of stress and anxiety around this, you can use the application form for a FREE Explore your Happiness Session with me ( In a phone call of approx. half an hour you can share details about your specific situation with me, and I’ll give you advices about what you can do the transform your situation to feeling happier, more confident and at peace plus having clarity again to move forward. I have 3 spots available for a free Explore your Happiness session. I‘d love to see you enjoy life fully!

When one of two partners in a relationship starts to work on personal growth, it results in raising the vibration. This is an action and will cause a reaction with the other partner. It can be resistance to change first, but then the partner has to decide what to do; also start working on him-/herself or not doing anything.

If we visualise this in 2 lines, then the person working on him-/herself has a line going in an angle upwards. If the other partner chooses to work on him-/herself also, their line will go in an angle upwards too. It doesn’t need to be the same angle, as long as both lines are going in an angle upwards, you as a couple can make a transformation together.

If the partner chooses to not do anything, and that is a choice too (everybody has free will!), their line will keep going horizontal. With your line going in an angle upwards, there will come a gab between the two lines, so between the two of you. The gab grows bigger and bigger until you will realise the gab has become too big and the relation doesn’t work any longer. You’ve grown apart too much. When I explain this to my clients, it gives them clarity about what can happen, what they can expect and how they can explain it to their partner also.

It’s so important to both work on your personal growth. Every soul came to this planet to learn new things and grow, so this is everyone’s purpose.

Clients often ask me how best to deal with a partner who has blockages but is not doing anything to release these blockages. It can cause huge relationship issues. If you are the person in the relationship who IS working on yourself, it can get very frustrating to start to see the blockages from your partner, while he/she is not doing anything to release them. It means the blockages of your partner stand in between you and you keep going round in circles with the relationship.

You can’t change your partner. He/she first has to be READY and decide to want to change. Till that point in time has arrived, you can only point out the blockages and work on yourself in the meantime, to release your part. Think about triggers inside you that still are being activated in conversations with or by behaviour from your partner. Triggers mean there are still emotions inside you that want to be released. They can be from your relationship with your partner, but often go back to childhood experiences in relationships with other people like your parents, siblings or people from your school time.

During the time you are conscious about your partner’s blockages and waiting till the moment he/she is ready to change, can be very frustrating and a big test for your patience.

Continuously work on releasing these emotions and focus on what makes you happy, how you can recharge your energy and stay in balance, what brings you joy. Nurture yourself.

You can pray for help for your partner to decide to choose love instead of fear, and to get his/her ‘spiritual awakening’, to decide to work on him-/herself and release his/her past. And a very powerful tool is also to visualise your ideal situation with your partner, where you both are healed from your past, where your relationship is pure, unconditional love and harmony with a respectful communication to each other using encouraging and uplifting words, where you want the best for the other and know each other’s needs and desires and act upon that. While visualising this situation, notice the feelings in your body like a warmth in your heart, joy, an energy boost and the smile on your face. Give the intention to these feelings to expand as much as possible. Then you’re manifesting your desired situation and now trust the universe to deliver a change for the highest and greatest good of everyone involved.

How often have you felt stupid in your life? Maybe you’ve felt stupid because others told you that you were stupid. Or you’ve felt stupid because of decisions you’ve made or actions you’ve shown to others. If you feel stupid, that’s like beating yourself up for what has happened in the past in the above cases.

In case of others telling you you were stupid, it was a projection and you can have heard it so often or it can have hit you so hard, that you’ve internalised it to become your own truth about yourself. And now you believe ‘I am stupid’ which is a blocking belief about yourself. If you understand it’s not a helpful belief in your life and you want to get rid of it, you can release it and transform it with a positive thought about yourself, e.g. ‘I am fine as I am, I am a loving person’.

If you beat yourself up after a decision you’ve made or an action you’ve shown to others, ask yourself first: With the knowledge and experience I’ve had, would I do this in the same way again, or would I allow this to happen again? What have I learned from this experience? What choice will I make from now on that is for my highest & greatest good?

I can tell you that when you’ve learned from a situation, you will do it differently in future because you’ve discovered something about yourself. You’ve grown. You’ll make a healthier choice or trust your intuition without questioning or ignoring it, or you’ve raised your standards and set new boundaries, or you’ll stand up for yourself speaking your truth.

With these new learned lessons and insights, you can best forgive yourself for what has happened, for your decision, your action, your behaviour. ‘I forgive myself for everything that has happened.’ Repeat this sentence a few times out loud and feel what it does inside you. It’s incredibly healing and will make you calm and in the now. Enjoy freeing yourself!

If you need some professional help to come to forgiveness because you feel resistance, reach out to me and we can schedule a session. It’s a great opportunity to free yourself before the new year starts. Send me an email through my contact form on my contact page, and I’ll contact you within 24 hours.

Love yourself unconditionally. Do that for yourself. Be thrilled that you are alive and that you are here. You are the one person you are going to live with forever. Until you are willing to love your inner child, it’s very hard for other people to love you. Accept yourself unconditionally and open-heartedly. – Louise L. Hay –

I see the part of the inner child that is still scared about what has happened in the past, with many clients. They connect with their inner child and help it freeing it from the scary situation. It can be a situation where there was real danger or where they felt ignored or received unloving words spoken to them.

When the inner child is freed, my clients can give them love and support and a life-long connection to protect them. The inner child is saved and can start to grow up feeling loved and being playful again. All this results in my clients stepping in their power again, feeling whole and complete. And also healed.

Then they radiate to the world they are worth receiving love and they have a lot to give too.

Do you remember a situation where you as a child felt not safe or unloved? Leave a comment with the age of you when that situation occurred and add a love heart as love to your inner child. Feel free to add love hearts as a symbol of love for others in their comments too.

Are you noticing that you AND your partner both have issues from the past to work on? It’s good to see that it’s both of you, it means you’re conscious about the issues in the relationship stemming from your past. The root cause of an issue often goes back to your childhood.

If you start to work on yourself, you’ll change (= transform), which will cause a reaction with your partner. Now your partner is standing for the choice to work on him-/herself. If your partner doesn’t do that, you’ll grow further apart and that often leads to a break-up.

The time has come to not sit back and wait what will happen. it’s time to face what emotions you’re carrying and where in your life they started, so you can release them and transform them into positive thoughts about yourself and your life. It’ll contribute to your happiness and joy, and your health.

If both you and your partner take your responsibility for your own negative emotions (blockages) and work on releasing them, it’ll improve your relationship. Triggers won’t be activated anymore because the emotion that was triggered, has been released. Mostly this improves communication between the two of you also.

The last month I notice I’m getting more clients who see that their partner has negative emotions from their past too. If you want to free yourself from blockages from your past, message me and we can have a free phone call to discuss your personal situation. If you want to refer me to your partner, let him/her contact me and I can schedule a free phone call with him/her also to discuss his/her personal situation. I can help both of you and would love the result of an improved relationship for you.

Sometimes seeing a situation from a new point of view can change your feelings about that situation. It can even result in a release of a blockage like a negative emotion or low self-esteem.

An example: once I’ve had a client who got asked by her ex-partner who she had had an affair with, to visit him when he became a terminal cancer patient. She visited him till he passed away but his wife didn’t know about their past affair.

My client decided to visit his funeral although she had strong emotions about the situation. She had loved him deeply and wished to be sitting in the front row too to grieve, but she wasn’t acknowledged being a secret affair.

She ended up in the last rows of the church next to the aisle. When the coffin was carried in, they stopped exactly at her row. She was devastated, angry and traumatised that this had to happen just at her row. How could he do this to her?

In a reading where I connected with his soul, I told her it was not to upset her, but he had stopped especially at her row to acknowledge her presence because he was grateful for her love and support and for visiting his funeral.

This new look upon the situation created she could let go of the emotions including resentment she had been carrying all these years. It was incredibly healing and powerful.

Same situation but with new insights and freeing her from a traumatic experience. I’ll never forget her.

What insights about an old event in your life were healing for you? Share it in a comment below.

You’re giving, giving, giving to others. It’s an act of kindness and you want others to feel good so that they think positive about you. You’re scared others don’t like you. You’re looking for their appreciation, approval and love. It’s like you give yourself away to others in the hope you’ll receive the evidence from them that you are good enough for who you are.

What impact does this behaviour have on your life?


You put aside your own needs completely;

  • You let others cross your boundaries;
  • You feel unhappy;
  • You feel powerless;
  • You get disappointed in others;
  • You lose yourself, your identity/authenticity;
  • You get hurt.

Because you have this hope to receive others’ appreciation, approval and love you often feel hurt by others. They don’t give you back what you give to them. It’s never in balance. It can even cause anger, frustration or resentment inside you. But you never stop giving.

When you become more conscious about your behaviour, you might notice that a lot of emotions round this behaviour are in your heart and that you’re trying to protect yourself from being hurt, from the pain it causes inside you. You start to notice others let you down by saying hurtful words about your behaviour. You feel that others have the power over you, that you are out of control about what’s happening in your life.

What is actually happening here?

Because you’re looking for approval of who you are, you’re giving the power over you away to others and you’re hoping to receive confirmation that you’re good enough and approved for who you are. But no one can give you that approval that you are good as you are. Not even The Creator. The only one who can give that approval to you is YOU! Just let this sink in for a moment; You can approve YourSelf.

This is a big realisation. It can stop your search for approval. It can stop your pattern of behaviour towards others. It can change your life!

How can you change your situation?

By connecting to your heart and saying out loud: I choose now to approve who I am and to believe I am fine as I am, I love myself as I am.
You might feel a resistance to say this, but don’t let this stop you and keep repeating the sentence, first maybe in your mind and then out loud, until you can say it easily and in a flow.

What a relief. You might feel lighter and even a breakthrough. It helps to bring you back in your power, to stand up for yourself, to not let others walk over you any longer, to live your life being YOU and not being scared anymore what others think of you. It’s freedom to be YOU.

If you need assistance to come to this point of approving yourself completely, apply for a FREE Explore your Happiness session now. Fill out the form in this link and I’ll contact you within 24 hours to schedule an appointment for a 30 mins free call.

Call Now ButtonCall now!