When you would have asked me fifteen years ago, how it feels to stand in your power, I would have shrugged my shoulders and said: “I wish I knew, I’m working on it.” Since then I have done several educations, courses and workshops, read many book, have had many sessions with practitioners and released lots of blockages from my past. I have experienced moments where I stood in my power but with traumatic experiences like my divorce in 2009 and then when I lost my husband in 2015, I have also felt out of balance and out of control. But I finally have achieved to find out how it feels to stand in your power and not let this feeling slip away, even in challenging situations. I can tell you now how it feels; it feels joyous, confident, free, strong and proud! It’s a great feeling and I’m super grateful I can feel this now.

If you also want to achieve this, I can imagine your question would be: “What exactly was it that made the change?” It was not one specific thing or method or release, it was everything I did the last fifteen years to work on myself. A special part of what I learned was how to love and nurture myself. I didn’t learn this from my parents. That was a consciousness level they weren’t at back then. I had to discover it myself during my life. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve given my power and energy away in many situations, I’ve chosen actions and communication that I wasn’t proud of afterwards, but I’ve learned from every situation and challenge. Years ago I learned how to call my power and energy back from people and situations and that was so useful. It made me discover who I was and what my energy felt like. Because I’m a healer, an empath and very sensitive, I let my energy intertwine with others and this caused often an energy exchange that left me behind with the low vibrational energy feelings of the other person. But I wasn’t conscious about this energy exchange. I learned it because of a huge decision in my life to free myself and concentrate on what felt different after that decision.

Also changing my diet had a big positive impact on my health. One of the downsides of this is that it’s less fun to go out for dinner, because the restaurants don’t serve a lot that I’d like to eat to nurture my body, but fortunately there are popping up more real healthy food restaurants in the area. I’ve learned so much about nutrition too that is useful in my life. And I learned to listen to my body and find out what foods are good for it and what isn’t. I even discovered that when you start to use a supplement to support your health, you have to tune in with your body to which supplement is right for you. Your body is unique and it’s important to connect with it fully.

Maybe you think after reading this that it can be quite tiring or hard to work so much on yourself. Yes it is! I say this again: yes it is. But it’s worth it. You never know on forehand how long it takes to overcome a challenge, it can feel exhausting, hopeless, frustrating, hard, annoying, awful, like you want to give up and you’re losing faith, but you’ll always come through it. Every little step forward is one forward, even if you feel like going ten steps back after that. You’ll find you’ll recover faster every time this happens and finally you are moving forward with bigger steps, challenges get easier to take and aren’t throwing you back so hard anymore. And then comes that moment where you experience you are in your power, you know what you want, you feel what you want, you feel you’re on the right path and you are determined and unstoppable to create the life you want while feeling good and in balance, proud, confident, free, happy, joyful and at peace. You’re never done with working on yourself. It takes as long as you live. There will always come new challenges on your path. It’s a matter of taking them and keeping that faith that you can deal with them. Wishing you all the strength you need on your journey!

Happy New Year! I hope you’ve set your intentions for a great 2018 for yourself and that you have faith in working together with your guides and angels to realise your goals. Of course there will be challenges on your path again too, but it is how you cope with what appears on your path. What do you do when a challenge occurs? Do you freeze, hide yourself in bed or your house, become a victim? Or do you fight, become angry and aggressive towards others, or do you run away, pretending there’s nothing happened and putting a fake smile on your face to laugh everything away?

Those are the three survival techniques fight, fright and flight. Everybody uses them and it can depend on the situation which one you use. It’s a way your body reacts to survive, because the situation has caused that you feel not safe anymore. But what do you do with yourself when a challenge occurs? Are you there for everyone else and do you forget about yourself? Do you move yourself down to the bottom of your priority list, do you make yourself invisible? Or do you take quality time for yourself to meditate and release feelings and emotions and get new insights, go into nature to ground again and quiet your mind, do you eat healthy so you provide the right nutrients and energy for your body? Do you stand up for yourself and communicate clearly and from your heart what you want, what your boundaries are and how you want to be treated by others?

It’s so important to work on keeping your balance. Of course a challenging situation can bring you out of balance, but you can create a new balance again with your actions. If you have feelings and emotions, take the time in meditation to acknowledge them, to allow them to be there and give them all your intention so that you can release them. If you do your best to suppress them (maybe even with craving foods that contain lots of fat and sugar), they will only grow inside you and you’ll be like a walking bomb that can explode any moment. You definitely want to avoid that to happen, so it’s a way better choice for yourself to acknowledge what you feel inside and allowing to feel your feelings and emotions until they are completely gone.

What thoughts do you have about yourself? Are they positive thoughts like: ‘I can handle this situation’, ‘I’m a survivor and I’ll get through this’, or ‘I don’t know how yet, but the solution will come, I’m sure about that’? Or do you think negative thoughts about yourself like: ‘It’s my fault’, ‘Why is this happening to me?’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I did everything wrong’, ‘Nobody loves me’? If you have negative thoughts about yourself, if you put yourself down, then you’ll radiate this to the outside world in energy too and you’ll attract situations that will confirm your thoughts as truth. To keep yourself in a higher vibration, think positive loving thoughts about yourself and ask for help and guidance on your path. You’re never alone. You’re always surrounded by your guides and angels and deceased loved ones who are very willing to help you. Talk to them with your thoughts and ask for their help. Tell them what you need and how you want to feel and live. Surrender to have full faith in the best outcome for everyone involved and fill yourself up with pure unconditional love, light and blessings, take good care of yourself and move forward step by step with a positive and optimistic mindset. Be grateful for the things you have in life (from the sun shining, birds singing, friends who help you, love you receive from others, a house, money on your bank account, food to eat) and know that you always have a choice, even if it feels like you don’t. You are a free spirit and you have free will. You deserve the best and you definitely deserve love and your dreams turning into reality!

If you need some help with releasing feelings and emotions and transforming negative self-thoughts into positive self-thoughts, you can book an appointment for a spiritual therapy session with which the healing energy flows automatically too. I’m working in January so you can make a good start of this new year ahead.

Your health and intuition

When you get health issues and can’t seem to solve them by yourself, you start looking for medical practitioners to help you. You want to find out what you have, what the cause is and especially how you can solve the cause. It sounds simple, but it can be quite complicated. Your body is a complex working system and you have unique components and baggage from your past experiences.

When you’re really ill, you often surrender to what the doctors say or advise you, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. We tend to deny our intuition, often based on fears. But that same intuition is also telling you when treatments don’t work, that this is not the right method for you to heal. Your intuition is so important to listen to. Fear and anxiety and illness can cause you to lose your grounding, to be in your mind with all your energy thinking constantly about what you can do best and having all scenarios going round in circles, you’re out of balance and maybe you even start eating unhealthy food to suppress your emotions and have a temporary feeling of ‘feeling good and relaxed’ before the fears and anxiety are back again.

You can decide to start doing research on internet about your health condition, to ask around in your network for information and advices, to read books about the subject you have or health advices. Hopefully you decide to take time to meditate and ‘go inwards’ too. This is connecting with your intuition. It’s so important because the best guidance is inside yourself. Your body is a very powerful and intelligent system and is designed to heal itself. Think about the many stories of people who have healed themselves from diseases in miraculous ways. Keep believing your body can heal itself with the right help. A healing process is often taking time. It’s a journey and you can best approach this as an opportunity to learn more about how your own body works and what it needs. It’s like learning to understand the language of your body and the messages it gives you. It’s part of your personal growth.

I know this journey of healing can be frustrating too when it takes longer than you hoped for, when you take one step forward and feel like going ten steps back again, when you keep on missing energy to enjoy life and do the things you like. But keeping faith is very important here. And keep asking for help from your guides and angels, and people around you. Keeping a positive attitude contributes also. Stay positive and optimistic, look constantly for what you can change to heal further. Reward yourself when you’ve moved forward again and resolved another challenge on your healing path.

And love yourself for who you are. You deserve the best; you deserve health, you deserve love, you deserve peace in your body and mind. Give yourself what you need. Do you know what gives you energy and makes you happy? Use your intuition, focus on your heart area and ask yourself what do I need right now? Is it going into nature for a walk to ground yourself, a dive in the sea to cleanse yourself, reading a book to gain more knowledge about a subject or just to relax, switching off your phone and taking a break from social media to not be disturbed and have time for yourself, doing something creative as drawing/colouring/painting/singing/making music to let your creativity flow again, treating yourself on a beauty treatment/massage/retreat, or taking a yoga/pilates/tai chi class to balance yourself again? All the examples above help to connect more with your intuition, and I’m sure there are many more ways. It’s so important to reconnect with our intuition and let this guide us through life. We’ve been disconnected for a long time and now is the time to decide to reconnect again. Use your intuition as an inner guidance for every step you take in life, to make decisions, to make changes, to be happier, to be healthier, to live your purpose on earth, and to radiate love.

Candle of love

Saturday 11th November it’s my wedding anniversary (I got married 11-11-2011). It’s the third anniversary after Jan, my husband, crossed over to heaven. I asked him in 2015 how I could best remember and celebrate our love and he advised a ‘light a candle’ action. This candle symbolises our pure, unconditional love. I gave our love the intention to spread through this candle all over the world to everyone who needed this love because they missed a dear loved one too.

For Jan and me it would be a huge present if you too will light a candle Saturday 11th November and give it the same intention. The past years it was a success and we felt honoured that so many people joined our action. I announced to make this a yearly recurring event. Feel free to share this message and to join us and let’s try to create a chain of lighted candles in the world to spread love. If you’ll join, I would appreciate it if you’ll send me a message below (like ‘I’m joining’), just to see how far this idea of Jan can reach.

Thank you so much for participating!

CONTACT FORM Join the Light a Candle action on 11-11-2017

This form is removed till the net 11th November, because of spam reasons.

This form is purely for the Light a Candle action and using it for advertisements, sales or other commercial goals is absolutely not appreciated.

The last months I have a lot of clients suffering from hurt and pain in a loving relationship, and often in a relationship where the true love or soulmate feelings are very strongly present. Were you hurt in the past and are you trying to protect yourself for more hurt? How do you do that? Have you put a wall of protection around your heart? Or did you open your heart after a long time for someone new, did it feel so good and amazing, and did you get hurt again?

The wall of protection around your heart
Your wall is probably making you feel safe, but are you experiencing love fully? Is giving and receiving love for you in balance? Visualise your wall and feel how your balance between giving and receiving love is. Your wall was necessary to protect you in the past, but is it still necessary right now? Feel if you could let your wall down partly or completely. What do you need to let the wall down completely? What’s the worst that could happen if you remove your wall completely? That you get hurt again? What did you learn the last years to protect yourself and your heart and love? Are you able to communicate clearly about your boundaries and protect them? Do you surround yourself with like-minded people who accept you as you are and respect your boundaries? Where is your power? Do you own your power or did you give your power away? Give the intention to call back your power, wherever it is, to yourself and fill yourself up with it again. Feel your power and anchor it in a place in your body where you’d like to keep it.

Love is the highest vibration of everything. It’s something beautiful and gives a very pleasant feeling, it uplifts you. Love is something unconditional, you give and get it back in return. If you open your heart for love, it is a gift to receive love, and you probably feel grateful for the love you receive. But what if you have opened your heart, and you get hurt (again)? It is how you deal with this.

In our human body we are on earth to experience love. And love has like everything, a yin and yang side. If you can open your heart fully for love, you’ll experience love of a high level, but you can also experience hurt and pain. I know what I’m talking about because I’ve experienced true love and lost my husband only a few years after we got together. The experience of love was high, it was absolutely amazing, but the experience of the pain when he was gone, was huge too. I’ve also experienced love where it felt so good and amazing but where my partner back then was too fearful to commit fully. That is painful also, because I had opened my heart but he couldn’t out of fear. How do you deal with a situation where you get hurt because your partner chooses fear where you chose love?

Hurt in your heart
First feel in your heart and visualise how your feelings look like if you would draw it on paper. What colour does it have? What structure? What size? Acknowledge this feeling with its emotions and thoughts and let it be as big as it needs your attention. Focus on it until it decreases till it’s disappeared completely. Now visualise your partner before you and with your thoughts tell him/her how you feel and how this impacts your life. Then tell how you want him/her to treat you. Feel if you can forgive him/her for his/her choice and behaviour. If so, say that out loud. Forgiveness will make you be able to move forward with your life again. Now feel if you can forgive yourself for everything that happened. Say that out loud to yourself too. Send back all the energy of your partner to him/her and call back your own energy to yourself. You can ask Archangel Michael now to cut all cords, except the pure unconditional love cord, between the two of you. Fill yourself up with a bright white light.

What thoughts do you have about yourself and love now? If you have judging or negative thoughts, write them down and transform them one by one into positive, uplifting thoughts. Did your experience make you believe you’re not worthy or deserving of true love or being together with your soulmate? Transform this into trust and faith the right partner is here for you and will open his/her heart for you in the right time. Ask the romance angels to help you bring you together with your life partner, help you both to choose love and let go of fears and experience love of the highest level for both of your highest and greatest good.

In the meantime ask your guides and angels to help you focus on your life, doing the things you like and that energise you, having balance in all ways, opening and healing your heart and releasing your fears. Focus on what brings you joy and be grateful for everything you have in life.

When you lose someone close and loved, you can feel overwhelmed by emotions as sadness, fears and even anger. It is difficult to not have your loved one by your side anymore in physical form as your companion, to not being able to hug each other nor call each other to catch up. But there is no such thing as death, there’s only the transition of the soul. Their soul still has all the memories they’ve created with you in their lifetime. You may take solace and comfort in knowing that they still exist and you’ll be with them in future.

Your loved one will have sympathy for you and all the others they have left behind who mourn them, and they’ll have the spiritual wisdom to understand their relationship with God/The Creator as well.

The most asked question by my clients in a reading is if their loved one is okay or has suffered from pain. Whatever age your loved one had when they transitioned, they are not in anguish or pain. Even not when they transitioned after an accident, murder, war or terrorist action. Your loved ones aren’t experiencing sadness or anxiety either, but they’re in ecstasy and bliss. They are in God’s light. They are experiencing joy, happiness and serenity, and are basking in the universal consciousness of God’s love.

They don’t want you to feel despair, hurt or grief. They are grateful for your love; and they want you to honour their memories, cherish your fond remembrances, and know that they are still with you. Every time you’re thinking of them suddenly, they are making contact with you. They want you to live your life to the fullest; that is their wish and the most precious way in which you can show your love for them. They know they are in your thoughts and prayers. They may come to you in your dreams and during meditation, but they are also with you when you think of them or look at their photo and talk to them (with your thoughts or out loud and when you feel the love for them in your heart). At times you’ll feel your loved ones’ presence.

A few weeks ago, I had the personal experience of my late husband giving me a kiss. It doesn’t feel like a real kiss. It’s a sensation that I can best describe as the feeling you would get when you put a bit of peppermint essential oil on your lip. It’s purely an energy sensation, a tingling feeling. I told him with my thoughts that it was a very subtle experience and if he could make it firmer. It became a little firmer but still subtle. If I would have been busy with working behind my computer or cooking, I would absolutely not have noticed his kiss. That was a learning curve for both of us. It was very nice to experience his kiss and teach him at the same time how it felt for me. Some people might think I’m constantly connecting with my late husband because I’m a medium, but it’s more the opposite; he connects with me because he thinks it’s too long ago we had contact. He has a special way of doing that; when I pass his photo in the living room, it’s like he stares at me and makes sure I see him, which means he wants me to know he’s with me. It gives me a warm feeling in my heart and it always makes me smile. And even when I am practising singing, he makes me look at his photo, as if he wants to say to me he’s listening and likes me singing to him.

Your loved ones want you to enjoy life. The greatest gift you can give them, is to continue loving them, allowing your love for them to be an inspiration to you. And through that love, to enjoy life every moment and let others enjoy life through you.

It’s human to feel hurt and pain and to go through a grieving process. It’s already difficult to have lost your loved one, but with this loss maybe came huge challenges for you too, like moving to another house, debts or worries about finances, or people judging you or turning their back to you because of how you handle your loss. It is even possible that people get jealous/envious because of how you keep on moving forward in a positive way after your loss. Always trust that what you feel is real, that your intuition is telling you the truth, and that you only have to do what feels good for you. Nobody can feel what you feel, nor tell you what to do. As long as it feels good and your truth in your heart, you’re acting in the right way.

If you are stuck or need advice or help, you can ask your loved one to help you together with your guides and angels. Ask for a sign that your loved one is helping you and what you could do best as your next step. Let them guide you through life. Share with them how you feel, when you feel down but also when you feel good and happy. That’ll give them so much joy when you tell them that you’re happy again and enjoying life!

[Some content in this article is from the books from Nick Bunick. I resonate completely with what he describes, because I’ve experienced it myself when my husband transitioned in July 2015 and through the contact I’ve had since then with my late husband.]

The last weeks I receive lots of stories from clients and also friends about difficult situations at work. Colleagues who are excluding and bullying, frustration about the desire to improve work but resistance from colleagues who don’t want to change, and frustration and suppressed anger about colleagues not seeing what needs to change to create a healthier company. I even heard that in those situations the management level is one where a lot of resistance to change is happening.

If you are feeling down, frustrated, powerlessness or busy in your mind till headaches about work, and even not in a happy and optimistic mood anymore to go to work when you wake up in the morning, it’s time to go within. Create the time to meditate daily, to go with your attention to your heart and to ask what’s happening, what you need and how you can provide or create that. Don’t judge, but listen with an open mind. Know that everything is possible and you can always ask for help to achieve changes.

It’s about letting go of your feelings and emotions that are blocking you, before you can make healthy changes for yourself. Speak out your feelings and emotions energetically to the people at your work, tell them how you feel and what those feelings cause in your life. Do this while you visualise them before you. Don’t hold back, tell everything that you’re carrying with you on your shoulders and in your heart. It will give relief in your body and mind. Now tell them how you want to be treated. Send back with your intention, their energy to them and call back your own energy and power and fill yourself up with this so you are whole and complete again..

Ask Archangel Michael to cut the cords between you and your colleagues and your work, to encircle that in his purple net of light to be transformed in love and light in the universe.
Then ask the Creator to fill you and your colleagues and the company (including the building where you work) up with pure unconditional love, light and blessings.

It’s possible that you don’t believe you deserve a better manager, better colleagues, a higher position, or better paid for your job. The reason can be low self-esteem or your ego telling you that a job where you feel happy and get paid well, doesn’t exist. Go back in time when you experienced this for the first time and let it go. Transform it into the belief that you are worthy and deserve the best and start living as if you already have the best. This will make you attract the situation you want.

When you decide to want a better situation, it’s possible that something unpleasant can happen first. It doesn’t need to happen, but there’s a chance. When you get signs to start changing your resume or to apply for jobs, and you don’t take action, – you don’t listen to your intuition -, it can happen that you lose your job unexpectedly. Ask yourself if you have requested for change or improvement. Losing your job can even be an answer to your request for change, especially when you weren’t happy with your job and you didn’t listen to your intuition to take actions finding a better job. That’s why it’s so important to meditate daily, to tune in with your body and heart.

By listening to your intuition, you will find a better job that suits you and your life and that’ll make you happier. Take action on what your heart is telling you. See your actions as an answer back to the universe that you’re willing to make the change and you are open to receive the best. Go with the flow, because then you’ll achieve the most for yourself. And know there’s always enough for everybody, including you!

When doubt kicks in

When you’ve set a goal in your life and you manage to achieve this goal unexpectedly, it can change your life drastically. Your daily schedule looks different and you focus on this new achieved goal. You go for it completely, which means other subjects in your life can only get less focus from you. You’re feeling good about your new life, and then… doubt kicks in if you’re doing it right. Is it okay to pay less attention and focus to other subjects in your life? Is it a bad thing? Are you failing now because you need to be superwoman and juggle all balls up in the air at the same time with the same amount of attention? Are you looking for permission that it’s okay to focus on your newly achieved goal to make the best out of that, instead of all the other subjects in your life?

It happened to me when I achieved a new goal last week. And I started wondering if it was a bad thing to focus on this new part of my life instead of focussing on the other subjects. I reflected my feelings and question to a dear friend and received the answer that it was logical and human to do this, because this new goal needed my attention now to expand it more to achieve a higher goal, and after that I could focus on the other subjects in my life again with more attention. It’s just a temporary change of focus.

I noticed that I was not giving myself permission to relax until I would have achieved my higher goal, like I was pushing forward as a fast train, not allowing myself to breathe and relax. I realised this was a belief that was not helping me. A belief I could better let go, so I asked my guides and angels to remove this belief from me and replace the energy with being and feeling relaxed right now about my new situation, even though the next goal wasn’t achieved yet and I couldn’t focus on other subjects in my life right now.

What a relief and what a difference. I slept so well after that. It’s a beautiful insight to realise that you’re behaving in a way that is blocking you from being at ease and happy right now. You can choose to be happy right now. You don’t need to wait until you have achieved another goal. It’s a choice. And it has to do with faith also that your next goal will be achieved. Together with the help of your guides and angels, you can release the belief that’s blocking you and replace it with how you want to feel. It’s so powerful. This is also why it’s so important to tell your guides and angels how you feel, what your worries and fears are, what you need in life, and how they can help you. Talk on a daily basis with them as if you’re chatting with real good friends and build up this great unique relationship with them. They are there for you and love to help you.

When you become ill, you hope it’ll be behind you soon. When you have a cold, you grab some extra vitamins, take extra rest and your body starts to beat the cold and you’re back on track in a couple of days or a week. But what if your body doesn’t beat an infection by itself, you don’t feel energetic nor vital anymore and your body starts dysfunctioning? What message is your body trying to tell you? What is it that you must learn?

Last year in February my body decided it was time to go ‘inside’ myself. One day I just found myself having no energy anymore and feeling terrible. It hit me because in December I had enjoyed a week away at the coast and recharged my energy. In January I felt pretty good too. But I knew (clair knowing) that it was totally wrong in my body and I decided to ring the alarm bells. I called several practitioners I’ve worked with previously, I asked help from my colleagues and I started my journey  to health.

I am normally optimistic and positive so I told myself: “Next week you’ll feel better and everything will be fine”. But it went in a different way for me. Here’s my story of what I’ve learned the last 1.5 years. I want to share this with you because I hope it’ll give you new insights about health that could be useful for your own journey.

First of all, I needed to get my energy back but there was so much wrong in my body with several organs that didn’t function properly anymore, that I started with homeopathy and naturopathy medications instead of energy healing. Otherwise it would be mopping the floor while leaving the tap open. What I didn’t see coming, was that this means your body starts to detox. And detoxing takes its time! It is incredible what your body has stored in your life. There are emotions and feelings but also beliefs that need to be reconsidered. There can be infections in your gut like Amoeba (from tap water and in my case even in the old water pipes at my rental place), bacteria, viruses, parasites and fungi. I had most of them. I also had a big issue with my period because every month the bleeding had increased and it had become so heavy, that it caused deficiencies in my body of iron and magnesium and I couldn’t do anything the first days of my period. My hormones were out of balance too, which had a connection to my thyroid.

If I read this back, I still wouldn’t know where to start with trying to solve my health. I just started with a naturopath’s help and went from there. My detoxing started and I felt even sicker at some days. It was one step forward and five steps back! I still tried to work in the meantime, but I can tell now that sometimes I had a client in the morning, then I lay on the couch feeling exhausted but I couldn’t fall asleep, then a client in the afternoon, I had to pick up my daughter Esmee from school, lay on the couch without being able to fall asleep again, I cooked dinner and went to bed straight after my daughter, to find myself exhausted and not being able to fall asleep, sleeping only 2-3 hours and waking up again and staying awake the rest of the night until my alarm went off. If you do this for a few days, you become a real zombie and you can’t think clear anymore. You can’t prioritise nor focus/concentrate on anything. I was just surviving from day to day. This happened to me for a few months and the message was simple: take the time your body needs to rest and heal. Simply lying on my bed without being able to sleep, but at least not doing anything else. And I was incredibly busy in my mind. Thoughts about things from the past flashing by and I mean very unimportant details like what I was wearing one day at high school. The thoughts that popped up, didn’t make any sense to me. It seemed loose memories that needed to be filed again in the right place.

How did I feel while being so ill? Frustrated, angry, miserable, sad and very scared. I also wondered why this was happening to me. Hadn’t I suffered enough after losing my husband Jan? I couldn’t get why I was paused on my path, where I felt I needed to keep moving forward because I had the huge responsibility for Esmee and I felt the pressure to earn an income with my own business. I needed to pay the rent every week. I was disappointed in myself, in being ill where I had so many plans to take actions, but my body blocked me from that. I also felt guilty towards Esmee for being ill where she had seen so much illness with Jan already and now I was constantly ill too. I did my best to let her life continue the best I could with her normal routine and after school activities and playdates. I had a dream to become old with Jan, to travel together and to grow together. All these dreams were vanished. I had lost direction, I had to design a new direction for myself. It was time to decide ‘what do I really want?’. But I also was afraid of the future, cause I had no clue where to begin.

I visited also another naturopath and two kinesiologists. We found out that I had two traumatic experiences round Jan’s death, situations where I got an emotional shock and my body was still in shock and in survival mode. The first one started in October 2014 where he suddenly became incredibly tired. Somehow unconsciously, I had ‘known’ this was a very bad sign. I saw Jan going so fast from being tired to not being able to do his job any longer. The second one was when the doctor took me to a separate room in the hospital to tell me for the second time that they couldn’t save Jan anymore and that I had to make big decisions and call family to come over as fast as possible. It’s interesting that these two situations caused the shock in me. You would suspect Jan’s death would be the big shock. I felt that his real death was easier to accept for me because I had said my goodbyes many times, I knew he would feel so much better as a soul without his restricted body and I could sense he’s very happy where he is now. And of course the connection that I still feel with him and the signs he brings on my path, are helpful to accept what has happened.

After about half a year I felt guided to firstly try to get rid of my infections cause they constantly kept destroying everything I was trying to heal and build up again. We found out that I had a fungal infection since I was 10 years old (layers and on cell memory level). It had played up a few times previously in the last 10 years with one fungal toe nail, I had used antibiotics two times for that, and it was healed and gone again. New for me was that an infection has layers and can go generations back and also can go back to past lives. It can take a very long time to get rid of a fungal infection. I’ve learned that antibiotics are no good for your health. They destroy your gut and immune system. Sometimes you need antibiotics because nothing helps anymore (I’ve seen that with Jan), but in my case of the fungal infection, with the knowledge I had gained, I decided to only treat it with natural products from now on. I felt so strong that my body needed natural products and I wanted to stay true to that!

I discovered doTERRA essential oils and started using the ones to help with overcoming infections (Oregano, Frankincense, Myhrr, Fennel, Clove, Tea Trea, On Guard). They were a great support for my health besides using naturopath products and doing sessions with the kinesiologists, remedial massage therapist, iridologist and colleague healers, hypnotherapist and channellers. Because the oils are pure natural, they have a high frequency (in mHz) and I started to feel more energy, although it all went very slowly. I started to feel clearer in my mind and I sometimes had a night where I slept 8 hours with a few wake ups in between. I started to get excited about using the oils and got interested to use them in cleaning at home and I attended some workshops to use the oils to create your own sunscreen and after sun spray. At the moment I’m starting to create my own hand soap and skin care products. Slowly all the toxic and chemical products are replaced by natural products. It’s a new world but my body tells me very clear that these natural products are good for me and my health.

A big break-through was a channelled session from a colleague where Mother Mary helped me to solve my heavy bleeding issue with my period. It was a past life connection where I helped to end unwanted pregnancies. One woman died and I still carried guilt with me from this. I had to forgive myself for what I had done. The moment I started to say the words ‘I forgive myself for …’, I felt a very strong emotion. I connected with the truth of this information and had to cry before I could continue my sentence. Mother Mary told I would notice immediate improvement after the session. My period had started that day, and I got my evidence because there didn’t follow heavy bleeding anymore.
Two months before this, I had a Mirena placed. According to the gynaecologist, this would solve the heavy bleeding issue. I didn’t feel good about this but was feeling so exhausted from the bleedings and lack of iron and magnesium, that I gave it a try. Imagine how my GP looked when I told this story about my past life and that the issue of my heavy bleeding was resolved. I demanded my Mirena to be taken out of my body immediately. My GP and I were no longer a good match because she wasn’t open for the alternative path I had chosen to follow to fix my health. I asked for help on my private Facebook page and had three people suggesting the same GP, so I swapped to this new GP and she is thinking with me and open for the practitioners I work with.

Another unexpected traumatic experience came on my path because I had asked universe to heal my heart, after reading a book by Doreen Virtue. You could meditate and ask this from your heart space. I did, but nothing happened. I repeated my request a few times in two days. Then when I went to bed, I noticed my left ear was blocked with ear wax and I used the special ear drops that contain carbamide peroxide. I had used them a few weeks before this day, and had gotten a bit of an upset and uneasy feeling. This time after putting the drops in my ear, I started to panic, I felt such strong emotions that I felt I lost control, I had even problems breathing from the stress in my body. I seriously felt I was going to die. Somehow I knew deep down that it was an experience and that I needed help from someone to disconnect from this experience. I called my colleague who channelled Mother Mary and Archangel Michael for me. I got explained that I had asked for help to heal my heart and that a past life where I was tortured and killed by putting hot candle wax in my ears, had caused that I hated humanity. This had blocked my heart and could now be healed through experiencing this connection. It was incredibly intense to feel but after 1.5 hours I was calm again, wrote down all information in my journal and went to sleep. What I learned here was to ask to heal your heart but in a gentle way that you can handle yourself. I had been too eager to get it done. I had thought lightly about it, but there can be a lot of blockages connected to past lives in your heart.

I made more healthy changes in my diet. I bought a cold press juicer and my breakfast from now on was a cold press juice from green veggies and a piece of fruit, half a lemon and half a lime. This felt really good in my body. A lemon with water is really good to get your body alkaline. This felt really good in my body. As lunch I ate the pulp from my breakfast on a pancake of one egg. I eat fresh veggies and fruit every day, I am vegetarian since a few years cause I felt guided to become a vegetarian (I only eat a piece of salmon every now and then when I feel like it, but further no meat at all), I eat mostly gluten free, I am dairy free cause I felt guided to do that (I only eat dairy when it’s part of a meal in a restaurant), I am sugar free, and I eat a lot of nuts for their proteins. I also bought a special water tank with lots of filters to cleanse the tap water you put in there, but also adds good ingredients to the water i.e. minerals. It’s amazing to see that tap water causes the filter to turn from white into orange/brown. That’s how polluted tap water is. I even wash all my veggies and fruit with this filtered water and I use it to brush my teeth and clean my toothbrush.

My energy levels were building up but slowly, and I could pick up exercising. I love dancing and singing, so I started lessons in both again. One day when I walked back from singing lesson to my car, I heard the message in my mind: “And this is something you won’t quit anymore”. It was confirmation that I (and my heart and soul) needed to do this cause it made me feel good and it was my way to let my creativity flow. And singing is good for your throat chakra too. The last few years I stopped the activities that I really liked, to be there to take care of my family cause I had to take over Jan’s role more often towards our kids and I had to do more alone where previously he could help me with these tasks. Also the finances didn’t allow me to continue doing what I loved to nurture myself.

With the start of 2017 I left illness behind me. So I thought. Unfortunately, I got more infections. When one was gone, another appeared. It seemed like it never stopped. Until I read a message that you can only heal when your soul has given permission to heal. Immediately I spoke to my soul and explained how I wanted to move forward with my life, that I needed to be healthy and have energy to do so and I asked for my soul’s permission. The day after that, I already felt a huge improvement.

Recently I got an insight while taking a shower, that I had a part in me that was grieving, but that it was possible to let it go now. I called this part ‘the grieving widow’ and asked my guides and angels to remove it from me because I was ready to free myself from it. I felt and saw a dark cloud of energy flying out of my body and felt a relief and new space and I felt lighter. I hadn’t been conscious of this part inside of me and was flabbergasted to experience this release.
I got rid of all infections and for the first time since years, was free of naturopath medication for infections. I only use several supplements to support my health and strengthen my immune system.

I recently got one new infection, but I recognised it in an early stage. What I’ve learned from all the infections I’ve had, is that I recognise when I have one in my gut (sleeping problems, problems with stools, focus problems) and that I can almost diagnose myself which infection it is and what naturopath medication I need, to get rid of it. I also use the help of my guides and angels to remove all causes of the infection including all layers and connections and cell memories. I got rid of this infection quickly for the first time since years. I only had one uncomfortable evening with an aching tummy, where previously it could knock me down for days.

Since the last 4-6 weeks I feel good. And that’s such a long time ago! I feel I’m in alignment with All-That-Is, I’m in the flow, I feel happy and joyful, I love life, I have heaps of energy and a full schedule with all nice things I’m excited about. I still dance and sing, I eat healthy, I meditate and channel, and I am in contact with my body. I feel connected to my guides and angels and All-That-Is and my connection has become stronger. During 1.5 years of illness I’ve learned to listen to my body and to connect with my intuition again. If I need more rest, I take it where possible. If I feel guided to make a walk in nature, I’ll do that. I plan catch ups with like-minded people and I picked up being creative (sewing, knitting, painting by numbers, writing, etc.).

Because I’ve learned so much about many facets of health and living a healthy life, I feel guided to share knowledge with you. I’ve received a message to organise info sessions with every time a different local guest speaker to talk about another facet for your health. They will share their knowledge and experiences about health, their services or products, and you can ask them questions. I will be one of the speakers too and share my knowledge and experiences to how you can work on your health and personal growth.
With increasing your knowledge, you’ll receive more options in your life to choose from. I’d love to see you live a happy and healthy life so you can thrive! As soon as I know all guest speakers, I’ll announce the days and times for the info sessions. It’s my plan to organise the info sessions in the winter time, because this time of the year is a great opportunity to go inside yourself and find your own truth.

With the theme for the month May to Open your Heart, it’s time to look at negative self-judgments you might have which are keeping you from enjoying being you. What thoughts do you have about yourself during the day? I give you an example of one I had yesterday. I was thinking about where I was in my life and I wanted to be so much further. A traumatic experience in my life in 2015 had caused an unexpected new situation which I had to adapt to on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. I noticed yesterday I was beating myself up about being where I am now. And immediately I heard a song in my mind as a message: “Don’t be so hard on yourself, no… Learn to forgive, learn to let go…, Everyone trips, everyone falls…, So, don’t be so hard on yourself no…” You know the song by Jess Glynne? It made me stand still by what I was doing and I thanked universe for this message. I had negative self-judgment thoughts. And I needed to stop and transform those thoughts into positive loving thoughts about myself immediately.

Back to what you’re thinking about yourself. Do you like yourself? Do you like where you are in life? How you live your day-to-day life? How you look? Do you like your friends? Do you like your work? Do you like the relationship you’re in? Do you like your financial situation? Everything in your life is created by your thoughts, because you’ll attract what you think. And of course we have to learn too, so losses and hurt can occur on your path to learn from. It’s how you deal with them.

So, do you have negative self-judgments? It’s okay to have them, good that you became aware of this. It’s totally normal to have them because we are humans and our ego is sometimes very in the way to our happiness. A low self-esteem isn’t helpful either. The good news is you can work on them to create a more confident you. What’s necessary is to be your true you, to love yourself and be gentle with yourself, be nice to yourself. To feel in your heart what you want, to base your decisions on what your heart ‘tells’ you. It’ll increase your happiness.

Think about this: if you are unconditionally loved by the Creator/God although you have made mistakes in the past and said, thought or done things that you don’t like about yourself, why wouldn’t you love yourself unconditionally? You can learn from mistakes in the past, forgive yourself and fill yourself up with love from The Source. It’ll bring you closer in connection to your heart, it’ll deepen the connection to yourself. And that’s what your guides and angels want to see happening for you. They love you unconditionally, and they ask you to love yourself in the same way!

Become aware of your thoughts and decide to transform them into positive ones. Every time you notice a negative self-judgment thought, say: “Out of my mind and memory!” You can visualise it as an energy flying out of your head to the universe, where it’ll be automatically transformed in love and light for you. Then create a new thought that is the opposite, so a very positive one. An example: Instead of the thought “I’m only where I am in my life now and I should have been ten steps further”, you can think: “I am where I am today, it’s okay, I’ve worked hard to get here and I am proud of myself for the work done, There is a plan for me and I have faith in myself and the help from universe to realise all my dreams while enjoying life and it’s miracles.”

Just feel the difference in energy between these two thoughts…

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