When you become ill, you hope it’ll be behind you soon. When you have a cold, you grab some extra vitamins, take extra rest and your body starts to beat the cold and you’re back on track in a couple of days or a week. But what if your body doesn’t beat an infection by itself, you don’t feel energetic nor vital anymore and your body starts dysfunctioning? What message is your body trying to tell you? What is it that you must learn?

Last year in February my body decided it was time to go ‘inside’ myself. One day I just found myself having no energy anymore and feeling terrible. It hit me because in December I had enjoyed a week away at the coast and recharged my energy. In January I felt pretty good too. But I knew (clair knowing) that it was totally wrong in my body and I decided to ring the alarm bells. I called several practitioners I’ve worked with previously, I asked help from my colleagues and I started my journey  to health.

I am normally optimistic and positive so I told myself: “Next week you’ll feel better and everything will be fine”. But it went in a different way for me. Here’s my story of what I’ve learned the last 1.5 years. I want to share this with you because I hope it’ll give you new insights about health that could be useful for your own journey.

First of all, I needed to get my energy back but there was so much wrong in my body with several organs that didn’t function properly anymore, that I started with homeopathy and naturopathy medications instead of energy healing. Otherwise it would be mopping the floor while leaving the tap open. What I didn’t see coming, was that this means your body starts to detox. And detoxing takes its time! It is incredible what your body has stored in your life. There are emotions and feelings but also beliefs that need to be reconsidered. There can be infections in your gut like Amoeba (from tap water and in my case even in the old water pipes at my rental place), bacteria, viruses, parasites and fungi. I had most of them. I also had a big issue with my period because every month the bleeding had increased and it had become so heavy, that it caused deficiencies in my body of iron and magnesium and I couldn’t do anything the first days of my period. My hormones were out of balance too, which had a connection to my thyroid.

If I read this back, I still wouldn’t know where to start with trying to solve my health. I just started with a naturopath’s help and went from there. My detoxing started and I felt even sicker at some days. It was one step forward and five steps back! I still tried to work in the meantime, but I can tell now that sometimes I had a client in the morning, then I lay on the couch feeling exhausted but I couldn’t fall asleep, then a client in the afternoon, I had to pick up my daughter Esmee from school, lay on the couch without being able to fall asleep again, I cooked dinner and went to bed straight after my daughter, to find myself exhausted and not being able to fall asleep, sleeping only 2-3 hours and waking up again and staying awake the rest of the night until my alarm went off. If you do this for a few days, you become a real zombie and you can’t think clear anymore. You can’t prioritise nor focus/concentrate on anything. I was just surviving from day to day. This happened to me for a few months and the message was simple: take the time your body needs to rest and heal. Simply lying on my bed without being able to sleep, but at least not doing anything else. And I was incredibly busy in my mind. Thoughts about things from the past flashing by and I mean very unimportant details like what I was wearing one day at high school. The thoughts that popped up, didn’t make any sense to me. It seemed loose memories that needed to be filed again in the right place.

How did I feel while being so ill? Frustrated, angry, miserable, sad and very scared. I also wondered why this was happening to me. Hadn’t I suffered enough after losing my husband Jan? I couldn’t get why I was paused on my path, where I felt I needed to keep moving forward because I had the huge responsibility for Esmee and I felt the pressure to earn an income with my own business. I needed to pay the rent every week. I was disappointed in myself, in being ill where I had so many plans to take actions, but my body blocked me from that. I also felt guilty towards Esmee for being ill where she had seen so much illness with Jan already and now I was constantly ill too. I did my best to let her life continue the best I could with her normal routine and after school activities and playdates. I had a dream to become old with Jan, to travel together and to grow together. All these dreams were vanished. I had lost direction, I had to design a new direction for myself. It was time to decide ‘what do I really want?’. But I also was afraid of the future, cause I had no clue where to begin.

I visited also another naturopath and two kinesiologists. We found out that I had two traumatic experiences round Jan’s death, situations where I got an emotional shock and my body was still in shock and in survival mode. The first one started in October 2014 where he suddenly became incredibly tired. Somehow unconsciously, I had ‘known’ this was a very bad sign. I saw Jan going so fast from being tired to not being able to do his job any longer. The second one was when the doctor took me to a separate room in the hospital to tell me for the second time that they couldn’t save Jan anymore and that I had to make big decisions and call family to come over as fast as possible. It’s interesting that these two situations caused the shock in me. You would suspect Jan’s death would be the big shock. I felt that his real death was easier to accept for me because I had said my goodbyes many times, I knew he would feel so much better as a soul without his restricted body and I could sense he’s very happy where he is now. And of course the connection that I still feel with him and the signs he brings on my path, are helpful to accept what has happened.

After about half a year I felt guided to firstly try to get rid of my infections cause they constantly kept destroying everything I was trying to heal and build up again. We found out that I had a fungal infection since I was 10 years old (layers and on cell memory level). It had played up a few times previously in the last 10 years with one fungal toe nail, I had used antibiotics two times for that, and it was healed and gone again. New for me was that an infection has layers and can go generations back and also can go back to past lives. It can take a very long time to get rid of a fungal infection. I’ve learned that antibiotics are no good for your health. They destroy your gut and immune system. Sometimes you need antibiotics because nothing helps anymore (I’ve seen that with Jan), but in my case of the fungal infection, with the knowledge I had gained, I decided to only treat it with natural products from now on. I felt so strong that my body needed natural products and I wanted to stay true to that!

I discovered doTERRA essential oils and started using the ones to help with overcoming infections (Oregano, Frankincense, Myhrr, Fennel, Clove, Tea Trea, On Guard). They were a great support for my health besides using naturopath products and doing sessions with the kinesiologists, remedial massage therapist, iridologist and colleague healers, hypnotherapist and channellers. Because the oils are pure natural, they have a high frequency (in mHz) and I started to feel more energy, although it all went very slowly. I started to feel clearer in my mind and I sometimes had a night where I slept 8 hours with a few wake ups in between. I started to get excited about using the oils and got interested to use them in cleaning at home and I attended some workshops to use the oils to create your own sunscreen and after sun spray. At the moment I’m starting to create my own hand soap and skin care products. Slowly all the toxic and chemical products are replaced by natural products. It’s a new world but my body tells me very clear that these natural products are good for me and my health.

A big break-through was a channelled session from a colleague where Mother Mary helped me to solve my heavy bleeding issue with my period. It was a past life connection where I helped to end unwanted pregnancies. One woman died and I still carried guilt with me from this. I had to forgive myself for what I had done. The moment I started to say the words ‘I forgive myself for …’, I felt a very strong emotion. I connected with the truth of this information and had to cry before I could continue my sentence. Mother Mary told I would notice immediate improvement after the session. My period had started that day, and I got my evidence because there didn’t follow heavy bleeding anymore.
Two months before this, I had a Mirena placed. According to the gynaecologist, this would solve the heavy bleeding issue. I didn’t feel good about this but was feeling so exhausted from the bleedings and lack of iron and magnesium, that I gave it a try. Imagine how my GP looked when I told this story about my past life and that the issue of my heavy bleeding was resolved. I demanded my Mirena to be taken out of my body immediately. My GP and I were no longer a good match because she wasn’t open for the alternative path I had chosen to follow to fix my health. I asked for help on my private Facebook page and had three people suggesting the same GP, so I swapped to this new GP and she is thinking with me and open for the practitioners I work with.

Another unexpected traumatic experience came on my path because I had asked universe to heal my heart, after reading a book by Doreen Virtue. You could meditate and ask this from your heart space. I did, but nothing happened. I repeated my request a few times in two days. Then when I went to bed, I noticed my left ear was blocked with ear wax and I used the special ear drops that contain carbamide peroxide. I had used them a few weeks before this day, and had gotten a bit of an upset and uneasy feeling. This time after putting the drops in my ear, I started to panic, I felt such strong emotions that I felt I lost control, I had even problems breathing from the stress in my body. I seriously felt I was going to die. Somehow I knew deep down that it was an experience and that I needed help from someone to disconnect from this experience. I called my colleague who channelled Mother Mary and Archangel Michael for me. I got explained that I had asked for help to heal my heart and that a past life where I was tortured and killed by putting hot candle wax in my ears, had caused that I hated humanity. This had blocked my heart and could now be healed through experiencing this connection. It was incredibly intense to feel but after 1.5 hours I was calm again, wrote down all information in my journal and went to sleep. What I learned here was to ask to heal your heart but in a gentle way that you can handle yourself. I had been too eager to get it done. I had thought lightly about it, but there can be a lot of blockages connected to past lives in your heart.

I made more healthy changes in my diet. I bought a cold press juicer and my breakfast from now on was a cold press juice from green veggies and a piece of fruit, half a lemon and half a lime. This felt really good in my body. A lemon with water is really good to get your body alkaline. This felt really good in my body. As lunch I ate the pulp from my breakfast on a pancake of one egg. I eat fresh veggies and fruit every day, I am vegetarian since a few years cause I felt guided to become a vegetarian (I only eat a piece of salmon every now and then when I feel like it, but further no meat at all), I eat mostly gluten free, I am dairy free cause I felt guided to do that (I only eat dairy when it’s part of a meal in a restaurant), I am sugar free, and I eat a lot of nuts for their proteins. I also bought a special water tank with lots of filters to cleanse the tap water you put in there, but also adds good ingredients to the water i.e. minerals. It’s amazing to see that tap water causes the filter to turn from white into orange/brown. That’s how polluted tap water is. I even wash all my veggies and fruit with this filtered water and I use it to brush my teeth and clean my toothbrush.

My energy levels were building up but slowly, and I could pick up exercising. I love dancing and singing, so I started lessons in both again. One day when I walked back from singing lesson to my car, I heard the message in my mind: “And this is something you won’t quit anymore”. It was confirmation that I (and my heart and soul) needed to do this cause it made me feel good and it was my way to let my creativity flow. And singing is good for your throat chakra too. The last few years I stopped the activities that I really liked, to be there to take care of my family cause I had to take over Jan’s role more often towards our kids and I had to do more alone where previously he could help me with these tasks. Also the finances didn’t allow me to continue doing what I loved to nurture myself.

With the start of 2017 I left illness behind me. So I thought. Unfortunately, I got more infections. When one was gone, another appeared. It seemed like it never stopped. Until I read a message that you can only heal when your soul has given permission to heal. Immediately I spoke to my soul and explained how I wanted to move forward with my life, that I needed to be healthy and have energy to do so and I asked for my soul’s permission. The day after that, I already felt a huge improvement.

Recently I got an insight while taking a shower, that I had a part in me that was grieving, but that it was possible to let it go now. I called this part ‘the grieving widow’ and asked my guides and angels to remove it from me because I was ready to free myself from it. I felt and saw a dark cloud of energy flying out of my body and felt a relief and new space and I felt lighter. I hadn’t been conscious of this part inside of me and was flabbergasted to experience this release.
I got rid of all infections and for the first time since years, was free of naturopath medication for infections. I only use several supplements to support my health and strengthen my immune system.

I recently got one new infection, but I recognised it in an early stage. What I’ve learned from all the infections I’ve had, is that I recognise when I have one in my gut (sleeping problems, problems with stools, focus problems) and that I can almost diagnose myself which infection it is and what naturopath medication I need, to get rid of it. I also use the help of my guides and angels to remove all causes of the infection including all layers and connections and cell memories. I got rid of this infection quickly for the first time since years. I only had one uncomfortable evening with an aching tummy, where previously it could knock me down for days.

Since the last 4-6 weeks I feel good. And that’s such a long time ago! I feel I’m in alignment with All-That-Is, I’m in the flow, I feel happy and joyful, I love life, I have heaps of energy and a full schedule with all nice things I’m excited about. I still dance and sing, I eat healthy, I meditate and channel, and I am in contact with my body. I feel connected to my guides and angels and All-That-Is and my connection has become stronger. During 1.5 years of illness I’ve learned to listen to my body and to connect with my intuition again. If I need more rest, I take it where possible. If I feel guided to make a walk in nature, I’ll do that. I plan catch ups with like-minded people and I picked up being creative (sewing, knitting, painting by numbers, writing, etc.).

Because I’ve learned so much about many facets of health and living a healthy life, I feel guided to share knowledge with you. I’ve received a message to organise info sessions with every time a different local guest speaker to talk about another facet for your health. They will share their knowledge and experiences about health, their services or products, and you can ask them questions. I will be one of the speakers too and share my knowledge and experiences to how you can work on your health and personal growth.
With increasing your knowledge, you’ll receive more options in your life to choose from. I’d love to see you live a happy and healthy life so you can thrive! As soon as I know all guest speakers, I’ll announce the days and times for the info sessions. It’s my plan to organise the info sessions in the winter time, because this time of the year is a great opportunity to go inside yourself and find your own truth.