When clients tell me they have gained weight the last years and aren’t happy with the weight gain, they often ask me for advices how they could lose the weight and if I could help them in the weight losing process. I always explain there can be many factors behind the weight gain and with which factors I can assist to solve this. Here are the most common ones that came on my path through my clients but also privately.

The emotional side

I can definitely assist with the emotional side of weight gain. If you have experienced a difficult situation as a loss, divorce, illness, or something traumatic, it’s possible that you still have feelings, emotions and beliefs that are blocking you in life. These blockages can literally cause weight gain, because the natural energy flow is blocked in your body. If you do a spiritual therapy session I’ll assist you in discovering which blockages you still have, releasing them and transforming blocking beliefs into positive affirmations for yourself and your life. I have seen many clients working on themselves with the help of spiritual therapy and losing weight spontaneously because their self-esteem increased and they felt stronger to make healthy choices in life. But of course there can be more causes for weight gain, so let me sum up a few more.

Hormonal balance and stress

Your hormonal balance can be a cause of weight gain also. Look at your life and find out what is out of balance. Do you have a balance between work and relaxation? Do you nurture yourself enough with quality time to ‘recharge your energy levels’? Do you have stability in your life as safety for your present situation and your future? How is your sleeping pattern; do you fall asleep easily, do you sleep a whole night in one go, do you sleep about 8 hours each night, do you feel vital and rested when you get up? Do you have stress in your daily life, and how do you cope with this stress? Do you meditate, go into nature, or visit a practitioner to release your stress? Or do you (binge) eat to suppress it? If you binge eat, or eat extra sugar, sauer, or fat (also dairy fats) to suppress your feelings of stress, you’ll gain weight and even feel worse, often guilty or regretful about the snacks and extra eating.

Physical health

Is your thyroid working well? If your thyroid works too fast or too slow, this can affect your metabolism. And is there maybe a disease that could cause weight gain? Visit your health practitioner to get tests for this if you think this is the case for you.

It’s possible you have infections in your body. Parasites or worms and other infections can cause problems in your body and I’ve personally experienced that I had infections causing weight gain. When I had treated the infections with natural medication, my weight went down. This last part (natural medication) is important too, because when you’ve had lots of antibiotics in your life, your gut health can have gone downhill which can have caused weight gain. Here you can work on strengthening your gut health and immune system again.

You can also have deficiencies. The most common are: iron, magnesium, zinc, vitamin B/C/D, and iodine. Deficiencies can cause lots of problems in your body including sleeping problems (think about restless legs that wake you up in the middle of the night). This can become a circle of being overly tired, and starting to eat more snacks that cause weight gain. A deficiency of calcium, zinc, and magnesium can also cause a craving for sugar, so make sure you take supplements for the deficiency instead of eating foods that increase your weight.

Healthy food and drinks

The best start is to quit sugar and processed food in your life. Start reading labels of what you buy, inform yourself what ingredients your food contains. It’s best to buy organic food, so it doesn’t contain chemicals.

It’s important to eat fresh vegetables and fruit every day. If you eat a snack in the morning and afternoon, it’s best to have a piece of fruit here too or some nuts. Cold press juices or smoothies are good drinks and also breakfast options. A healthy diet for most sensitive people’s body is also gluten free because most sensitive people react on gluten in a negative way. Think about when you’ve eaten bread or pasta and how ‘full’ your stomach feels. That’s because of the gluten. It’s easy to find out if your body has a reaction to gluten; when you don’t eat gluten for 1-2 weeks, and you feel better (e.g. clearer in your mind, better stools, more energy), this is your evidence that you can better not eat gluten anymore.

How do you feel when you eat? Do you have thoughts like ‘this is bad for me’? Do you bless your food and can you really enjoy what you eat? Or do you feel guilty after eating or have regrets? This is all contributing to what happens in your body and with your weight.

I know the Australian government says the drinkwater is of a good quality, but I personally have experienced that my sensitive body becomes ill from this tap water, and I know I’m not the only one. I’ve bought a special alkalinity water filter system that filters the bad things (such as fluoride, arsenic, chlorine, herbicides & pesticides, industrial poisons, rust, bacteria, cysts, parasites, and Amoeba) out of tap water and adds the good things to it, like minerals. With this water I wash my veggies and fruit, I brush my teeth and rinse my toothbrush and I only drink this water. When I go out for dinner, I bring my own water bottle to have my quality water with me. And this water tastes way nicer too!
Soda and soft drinks aren’t helpful for your weight (and health) because of the large amount of sugar in it. And I’ve just read there exists research about diet soda that suggests that weight loss is delayed by artificial sweeteners. So the very thing you thought was helping you may be hindering your process. [Angel Detox by Doreen Virtue & Robert Reeves]
Alcohol can cause weight gain too and it’s best to quit alcohol anyway for your health, but also for your spiritual connection with your guides and angels.

Heavy metals and Epstein Barr Virus (EBV)

Heavy metals can enter your body through many ways; in your household (material of pans, aluminium foil, chemicals in your food or house cleaning products), fluoride treatment at the dentist, exhaust fumes, etc. Heavy metals together with the Epstein Barr Virus can cause lots of problems with your health, including mystery illnesses, which then can cause possible weight gain. It’s best to detox your body from heavy metals and EBV. You can find a lot of information how to detox from this on internet.

Exercise/movement

Do you get enough exercise/movement with your physical body? It’s best to have a balance between the feminine (yoga/pilates/tai chi/dance) and masculine (cardio and weights) forms of movement. And it’s great when you can exercise in nature cause it’ll even make you feel better. Moving your body can contribute to weight loss because it helps to burn calories and fat.

I hope the above is giving you an idea what could have caused your weight gain and what you can do yourself to transform this. If you need assistance in releasing feelings, emotions and beliefs around your weight gain and wish to lose weight, feel free to contact me hoe we can work together to achieve this.

When I asked Archangel Michael what to write about today, he gave me a question in return: ‘What did you experience and learn lately?’ I noticed the last weeks that I wasn’t completely happy with where I was in life. After a big change almost three years ago, when my husband crossed over, my whole life was upside down and I had to reinvent and rebuild myself piece by piece. I connected with my heart and connected to what makes me happy, especially what type of work brings me joy. For me that is seeing the transformation in my clients after a session. They come in with a tight skin and an aura with no space around them. When they release blockages, there’s a shift that we both can feel happening, where their aura expands and they experience a relief, a weight sliding off their shoulders, and new space around them to ‘breathe’ including boundaries towards others. Then I can see their skin on their face changing. That brings me joy and at the same time gratitude for the process where so many angels, guides, ascended masters and The Creator assist us with.

Back to the point where I am in life now. Because I am a sole trader, there’s always the stress about finances. A week can be busy, but another week can be very quiet. Since I’m in Australia it’s never been a stable income. And exactly that point is one of my desires; to have a stable income with the work I love. I’ve had a temporary part-time administrative job last year, but it didn’t make me happy. I even became ill again. My body was protesting my actions and decisions. This year I wanted to do it in a different way. I started creating workshops of diverse subjects, but specifically subjects that I have an interest in. It is kind of the same as when you read a book; you love reading a book that has your interest. You’re in the flow of reading the story or info and you can’t stop till you’ve finished the book and have a good memory of the story so you can look back with a sense of fulfilment. If you do the work you love, it’ll bring you a sense of fulfilment, joy and happiness, but you’ll discover a drive inside you to do the work, take actions and keep moving forward. And one of my eagerness of learning new things and improve my skills and expand my knowledge to even assist more clients in new ways, makes me continuously study new topics about health.

I noticed lately that fears came up about my future. As a human being I’d like to have some security about my future, but there isn’t any at the moment. There is the ‘knowing’ that I am safe and am guided on my path, but sometimes the connection with my guidance becomes like a thin thread, because I think too much. You know that feeling, when you’re in your mind, trying to figure out the ‘how’ part of the delivery of your desires? Then you’re standing in the way of The Creator to deliver the magic on your path. You’re literally blocking your flow and success. For me getting a client at that moment who is very much in their mind and having problems connecting with their feelings, is a mirror to me that I’m too much in my head. It was time to work on my fears and frustration. It’s a blockage that builds up till a feeling of being stuck. The difference is that I recognise getting stuck and look for help. It’s not anything to be ashamed about, it’s the opposite. It’s an opportunity to grow and to release old energy that I don’t want to carry with me any longer. So I visited some colleagues and worked on my feelings, released a lot, got new insights, take some extra natural support for my body to heal, and feel realigned again with what I’m here for on this planet earth. I asked for help and received it. I’m calmer in my mind and body, sleep nicely again, and I can enjoy being in the moment e.g. by sitting outside in the sun and feeling grateful for that. I make a list of things-to-do and get them all ticked off and feel proud about that. I‘m back on track.

If you feel stuck or frustrated about where you are in life, I can assist you in releasing your fears and frustration and get you back on track again. I’d love to assist your personal growth process and can help in many different ways. If you’d like to know me better before you come for a session, you can join a workshop and learn more about health and how you can support your health in different ways. I’d like to see you grow in an empowered way, where you take actions in your own hands so you can be proud of your achievement, because I know how that feels too. Welcome to the world of personal growth!

Where is your Power?

When you want to achieve a personal goal, and you can’t get your actions done, even though you mentally want them for yourself, it can mean you’re missing your power. You’ve probably heard the sentence ‘You have to step into your power’, but what is ‘stepping into your power’? And where is your Power?

In sessions with clients I’ve often watched them come at the point where they become aware of missing their power. When I ask them to feel where their power is and guide them back to where they left their power, they can go back in time to a situation in the past. We can work through that situation and integrating the power.

But sometimes a client doesn’t know where their power is, which can give feelings of powerlessness and frustration. Know that this is a (temporary) disconnection from their power and you can meditate on finding your power. Go inside and feel what power is for you. How would it be to have your power? What’s the effect if you would have all your power? What are your fears when you would have your power and stand in your power? What would be the reaction of your environment when you would stand in your power? How were you raised around power? Was power something positive or did your environment judge people who used their power? You’ll discover what keeps you from being in your power, which are often fears and limiting beliefs.

Sensitive people are often more visual and could see an image/picture in their mind while meditating about power. I’ve heard clients telling they got a picture of themselves standing next to their power. A good question to ask yourself then is: ‘What keeps you from stepping into your power?’ The fears and limiting beliefs will come up here.

It’s important to release your fears and limiting beliefs around power, because it’s your birthright to stand in your power. You have divine permission to own your power and use it to be You. It is part of being true to yourself, being authentic and unique. If there are people in your environment who judge you when you stand in your power, when you are the real You and live your truth, they are not the ones who contribute to your life and you can either decide to end the relationship with them or to minimise contact. They’re not the ones who encourage you to grow personally and to experience happiness and joy. People who judge, don’t judge you personally, so please don’t take it personally. They reject a part of themselves which they don’t want to face. It’s easier for them to judge someone else instead of facing themselves in the mirror and taking responsibility to be their true self and work on releasing their own blockages.

Now visualise or fantasise about yourself standing completely in your power, owning your power, using your power in a positive, loving way to be your true You. How does this feel in your body? Where do you feel it the strongest? Focus on this part of your body and magnify this feeling from there, let it spread to every cell of your body and radiate to the outside world. Keep this feeling with you from now on. Check it every day. When it’s fading away or disappeared, reclaim your power again and refill every cell with it. You are very capable of owning your power in a positive way and it’s time to show the world!

I get more female clients lately who ended their romantic relationship with a man, still feel a lot of love for him, but know the relation won’t work any longer because it doesn’t make them happy nor fulfilled. They are suffering from strong emotions even though they know it was the right decision. They reach out for help to clear their energy so they can move on with life.

What has happened, is that the love was so strong, real and feeling so good, so they’ve experienced true love, that their energy has intertwined with their partner during the relationship. The woman has lost herself, can’t distinguish what her own feelings and her partner’s feelings are any longer. The energies feel like one energy. It gives a lot of strong emotions including fears and sadness and doubts about if they’ve made the right choice, even though they know in their mind that it was the right choice.

Often the cause of having ended the relationship with the man is that he didn’t want to commit 100% to the relationship and the woman felt she needed that because she committed fully with all her love. From my clients I got the feedback that the man said he couldn’t commit 100% to the relationship and they could pinpoint for the man that he had fears to commit fully, but didn’t work on releasing the fears. The women noticed that without the full commitment of the man in a relationship, they weren’t happy and it didn’t fulfil. They were missing that full commitment. The time together could be very pleasant, but only gave fulfilment while spending time together, so short term. The time without being together didn’t fulfil, so long term it caused unhappiness.
I want to make sure that everyone can make the decision to commit 100% to a relationship, if they want to. It means you have to work on yourself and find out what blocks you from not committing fully, what fears are there? And then you have to release those fears. If someone says he/she can’t commit fully, that means they don’t want to. If you want to, you can. It starts with the decision to want to.

After ending the relationship, the women felt overly emotional with lots of questions in their mind why they were feeling so bad. They had problems moving forward, couldn’t concentrate/focus, were tired, had sleeping issues, and thoughts about the man constantly popped up in their mind, they even could feel sexual desires and butterflies in their tummy at times. The last one gave doubts if they were still so much in love that they maybe had made the wrong choice.

Most women who came to me, knew that cutting cords was probably necessary. It’s true that after a relationship you can best cut cords with your ex-partner because there can be many cords attached which can drain you and make you stay connected. You can’t move on with your own life then. And if they are cords to your sacral chakra, you pick up on sexual desires of your ex-partner and think or doubt if they are yours. Cords to your heart can keep you feeling sad without being able to move forward through the grieving phases of an ended relationship. It can feel like a broken heart but without the possibility to heal it. Cords to your mind can cause that you experience your ex-partner to have access to your thoughts and you pick up on his thoughts or desires too. It can feel as if you never get him out of your mind, as if you can’t think of anything else any more. And it gives problems with concentrating/focussing, which can give problems with your job and other parts of your daily life. After cutting cords you feel freed from your ex-partner’s energy. But I’ve seen that the cords can be reattached in one day, when you don’t stand in your power to tell your ex-partner energetically that you don’t allow to connect cords to you any longer. You have to tell they need to find another way to give themselves love, self-love, because you’re not supplying that any longer to them. You can see this as your ex-partner has an emptiness inside that needs to be filled up with love, not your love but self-love. Maybe you filled up this emptiness during your relationship with your love. It’s setting your boundaries that your ex-partner may not connect to you with cords any longer and need to find another way to receive self-love.

You probably had one or more past lives together too, and there can still be contracts or agreements and karma about those lives in place. You’ve chosen as souls to work on this in your current life on earth. It’s a matter of finding out what is still there that needs to be finished or if it can be released now because it’s completed. There can be past life vows in place that are blocking you from moving forward. The most common ones I’ve seen with clients are about commitment problems, having promised to always love each other (which makes you radiate to the world you’re not available for a new relationship), to never love again and stay alone, to never leave someone (even though you’ve ended the relationship, you stay connected and are not available for a new relationship), and surrendering your power to another. After releasing these vows, you’ll feel so much lighter and you can step into your power and find yourself again. Of course you need to do an energy exchange too where you call back your own energy and power and you send back the energy of your ex-partner to them.

If you feel powerless after ending the relationship, it’s possible that you’ve had a power based relationship. Were you in your power before the relationship started? What happened during the relation? Did you feel you were controlled? This means you’ve given your power away to your partner in the relation. It’s important to search for the reason. There can be an underlying trauma or low self-esteem can be the cause. It’s such a win if you can increase your self-esteem and step into your power again. To feel your own energy, be in your own energy, and set and protect your boundaries and communicate freely from your heart. Of course your previous relationship has made you decide to not want certain situations happening to you again. You won’t let them happen because you’ve learned from it and released the blockages. Now you can be yourself, find yourself as in what makes you happy, what the tools are to recharge your energy, how you can protect your boundaries and step up for yourself and your needs and being true to your heart. This is the path to your happiness. It’s perfectly fine to use your power in this positive way for your own happiness.

When you still feel there are issues to release after an ended relationship and to clear your energy, feel free to contact me how we can work together to get you back into your power and ready to move forward with your life as the ‘new you’.

When you would have asked me fifteen years ago, how it feels to stand in your power, I would have shrugged my shoulders and said: “I wish I knew, I’m working on it.” Since then I have done several educations, courses and workshops, read many book, have had many sessions with practitioners and released lots of blockages from my past. I have experienced moments where I stood in my power but with traumatic experiences like my divorce in 2009 and then when I lost my husband in 2015, I have also felt out of balance and out of control. But I finally have achieved to find out how it feels to stand in your power and not let this feeling slip away, even in challenging situations. I can tell you now how it feels; it feels joyous, confident, free, strong and proud! It’s a great feeling and I’m super grateful I can feel this now.

If you also want to achieve this, I can imagine your question would be: “What exactly was it that made the change?” It was not one specific thing or method or release, it was everything I did the last fifteen years to work on myself. A special part of what I learned was how to love and nurture myself. I didn’t learn this from my parents. That was a consciousness level they weren’t at back then. I had to discover it myself during my life. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve given my power and energy away in many situations, I’ve chosen actions and communication that I wasn’t proud of afterwards, but I’ve learned from every situation and challenge. Years ago I learned how to call my power and energy back from people and situations and that was so useful. It made me discover who I was and what my energy felt like. Because I’m a healer, an empath and very sensitive, I let my energy intertwine with others and this caused often an energy exchange that left me behind with the low vibrational energy feelings of the other person. But I wasn’t conscious about this energy exchange. I learned it because of a huge decision in my life to free myself and concentrate on what felt different after that decision.

Also changing my diet had a big positive impact on my health. One of the downsides of this is that it’s less fun to go out for dinner, because the restaurants don’t serve a lot that I’d like to eat to nurture my body, but fortunately there are popping up more real healthy food restaurants in the area. I’ve learned so much about nutrition too that is useful in my life. And I learned to listen to my body and find out what foods are good for it and what isn’t. I even discovered that when you start to use a supplement to support your health, you have to tune in with your body to which supplement is right for you. Your body is unique and it’s important to connect with it fully.

Maybe you think after reading this that it can be quite tiring or hard to work so much on yourself. Yes it is! I say this again: yes it is. But it’s worth it. You never know on forehand how long it takes to overcome a challenge, it can feel exhausting, hopeless, frustrating, hard, annoying, awful, like you want to give up and you’re losing faith, but you’ll always come through it. Every little step forward is one forward, even if you feel like going ten steps back after that. You’ll find you’ll recover faster every time this happens and finally you are moving forward with bigger steps, challenges get easier to take and aren’t throwing you back so hard anymore. And then comes that moment where you experience you are in your power, you know what you want, you feel what you want, you feel you’re on the right path and you are determined and unstoppable to create the life you want while feeling good and in balance, proud, confident, free, happy, joyful and at peace. You’re never done with working on yourself. It takes as long as you live. There will always come new challenges on your path. It’s a matter of taking them and keeping that faith that you can deal with them. Wishing you all the strength you need on your journey!

Happy New Year! I hope you’ve set your intentions for a great 2018 for yourself and that you have faith in working together with your guides and angels to realise your goals. Of course there will be challenges on your path again too, but it is how you cope with what appears on your path. What do you do when a challenge occurs? Do you freeze, hide yourself in bed or your house, become a victim? Or do you fight, become angry and aggressive towards others, or do you run away, pretending there’s nothing happened and putting a fake smile on your face to laugh everything away?

Those are the three survival techniques fight, fright and flight. Everybody uses them and it can depend on the situation which one you use. It’s a way your body reacts to survive, because the situation has caused that you feel not safe anymore. But what do you do with yourself when a challenge occurs? Are you there for everyone else and do you forget about yourself? Do you move yourself down to the bottom of your priority list, do you make yourself invisible? Or do you take quality time for yourself to meditate and release feelings and emotions and get new insights, go into nature to ground again and quiet your mind, do you eat healthy so you provide the right nutrients and energy for your body? Do you stand up for yourself and communicate clearly and from your heart what you want, what your boundaries are and how you want to be treated by others?

It’s so important to work on keeping your balance. Of course a challenging situation can bring you out of balance, but you can create a new balance again with your actions. If you have feelings and emotions, take the time in meditation to acknowledge them, to allow them to be there and give them all your intention so that you can release them. If you do your best to suppress them (maybe even with craving foods that contain lots of fat and sugar), they will only grow inside you and you’ll be like a walking bomb that can explode any moment. You definitely want to avoid that to happen, so it’s a way better choice for yourself to acknowledge what you feel inside and allowing to feel your feelings and emotions until they are completely gone.

What thoughts do you have about yourself? Are they positive thoughts like: ‘I can handle this situation’, ‘I’m a survivor and I’ll get through this’, or ‘I don’t know how yet, but the solution will come, I’m sure about that’? Or do you think negative thoughts about yourself like: ‘It’s my fault’, ‘Why is this happening to me?’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I did everything wrong’, ‘Nobody loves me’? If you have negative thoughts about yourself, if you put yourself down, then you’ll radiate this to the outside world in energy too and you’ll attract situations that will confirm your thoughts as truth. To keep yourself in a higher vibration, think positive loving thoughts about yourself and ask for help and guidance on your path. You’re never alone. You’re always surrounded by your guides and angels and deceased loved ones who are very willing to help you. Talk to them with your thoughts and ask for their help. Tell them what you need and how you want to feel and live. Surrender to have full faith in the best outcome for everyone involved and fill yourself up with pure unconditional love, light and blessings, take good care of yourself and move forward step by step with a positive and optimistic mindset. Be grateful for the things you have in life (from the sun shining, birds singing, friends who help you, love you receive from others, a house, money on your bank account, food to eat) and know that you always have a choice, even if it feels like you don’t. You are a free spirit and you have free will. You deserve the best and you definitely deserve love and your dreams turning into reality!

If you need some help with releasing feelings and emotions and transforming negative self-thoughts into positive self-thoughts, you can book an appointment for a spiritual therapy session with which the healing energy flows automatically too. I’m working in January so you can make a good start of this new year ahead.

Your health and intuition

When you get health issues and can’t seem to solve them by yourself, you start looking for medical practitioners to help you. You want to find out what you have, what the cause is and especially how you can solve the cause. It sounds simple, but it can be quite complicated. Your body is a complex working system and you have unique components and baggage from your past experiences.

When you’re really ill, you often surrender to what the doctors say or advise you, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. We tend to deny our intuition, often based on fears. But that same intuition is also telling you when treatments don’t work, that this is not the right method for you to heal. Your intuition is so important to listen to. Fear and anxiety and illness can cause you to lose your grounding, to be in your mind with all your energy thinking constantly about what you can do best and having all scenarios going round in circles, you’re out of balance and maybe you even start eating unhealthy food to suppress your emotions and have a temporary feeling of ‘feeling good and relaxed’ before the fears and anxiety are back again.

You can decide to start doing research on internet about your health condition, to ask around in your network for information and advices, to read books about the subject you have or health advices. Hopefully you decide to take time to meditate and ‘go inwards’ too. This is connecting with your intuition. It’s so important because the best guidance is inside yourself. Your body is a very powerful and intelligent system and is designed to heal itself. Think about the many stories of people who have healed themselves from diseases in miraculous ways. Keep believing your body can heal itself with the right help. A healing process is often taking time. It’s a journey and you can best approach this as an opportunity to learn more about how your own body works and what it needs. It’s like learning to understand the language of your body and the messages it gives you. It’s part of your personal growth.

I know this journey of healing can be frustrating too when it takes longer than you hoped for, when you take one step forward and feel like going ten steps back again, when you keep on missing energy to enjoy life and do the things you like. But keeping faith is very important here. And keep asking for help from your guides and angels, and people around you. Keeping a positive attitude contributes also. Stay positive and optimistic, look constantly for what you can change to heal further. Reward yourself when you’ve moved forward again and resolved another challenge on your healing path.

And love yourself for who you are. You deserve the best; you deserve health, you deserve love, you deserve peace in your body and mind. Give yourself what you need. Do you know what gives you energy and makes you happy? Use your intuition, focus on your heart area and ask yourself what do I need right now? Is it going into nature for a walk to ground yourself, a dive in the sea to cleanse yourself, reading a book to gain more knowledge about a subject or just to relax, switching off your phone and taking a break from social media to not be disturbed and have time for yourself, doing something creative as drawing/colouring/painting/singing/making music to let your creativity flow again, treating yourself on a beauty treatment/massage/retreat, or taking a yoga/pilates/tai chi class to balance yourself again? All the examples above help to connect more with your intuition, and I’m sure there are many more ways. It’s so important to reconnect with our intuition and let this guide us through life. We’ve been disconnected for a long time and now is the time to decide to reconnect again. Use your intuition as an inner guidance for every step you take in life, to make decisions, to make changes, to be happier, to be healthier, to live your purpose on earth, and to radiate love.

Candle of love

Saturday 11th November it’s my wedding anniversary (I got married 11-11-2011). It’s the third anniversary after Jan, my husband, crossed over to heaven. I asked him in 2015 how I could best remember and celebrate our love and he advised a ‘light a candle’ action. This candle symbolises our pure, unconditional love. I gave our love the intention to spread through this candle all over the world to everyone who needed this love because they missed a dear loved one too.

For Jan and me it would be a huge present if you too will light a candle Saturday 11th November and give it the same intention. The past years it was a success and we felt honoured that so many people joined our action. I announced to make this a yearly recurring event. Feel free to share this message and to join us and let’s try to create a chain of lighted candles in the world to spread love. If you’ll join, I would appreciate it if you’ll send me a message below (like ‘I’m joining’), just to see how far this idea of Jan can reach.

Thank you so much for participating!

CONTACT FORM Join the Light a Candle action on 11-11-2017

 
 

Verification

This form is purely for the Light a Candle action and using it for advertisements, sales or other commercial goals is absolutely not appreciated.

The last months I have a lot of clients suffering from hurt and pain in a loving relationship, and often in a relationship where the true love or soulmate feelings are very strongly present. Were you hurt in the past and are you trying to protect yourself for more hurt? How do you do that? Have you put a wall of protection around your heart? Or did you open your heart after a long time for someone new, did it feel so good and amazing, and did you get hurt again?

The wall of protection around your heart
Your wall is probably making you feel safe, but are you experiencing love fully? Is giving and receiving love for you in balance? Visualise your wall and feel how your balance between giving and receiving love is. Your wall was necessary to protect you in the past, but is it still necessary right now? Feel if you could let your wall down partly or completely. What do you need to let the wall down completely? What’s the worst that could happen if you remove your wall completely? That you get hurt again? What did you learn the last years to protect yourself and your heart and love? Are you able to communicate clearly about your boundaries and protect them? Do you surround yourself with like-minded people who accept you as you are and respect your boundaries? Where is your power? Do you own your power or did you give your power away? Give the intention to call back your power, wherever it is, to yourself and fill yourself up with it again. Feel your power and anchor it in a place in your body where you’d like to keep it.

Love is the highest vibration of everything. It’s something beautiful and gives a very pleasant feeling, it uplifts you. Love is something unconditional, you give and get it back in return. If you open your heart for love, it is a gift to receive love, and you probably feel grateful for the love you receive. But what if you have opened your heart, and you get hurt (again)? It is how you deal with this.

In our human body we are on earth to experience love. And love has like everything, a yin and yang side. If you can open your heart fully for love, you’ll experience love of a high level, but you can also experience hurt and pain. I know what I’m talking about because I’ve experienced true love and lost my husband only a few years after we got together. The experience of love was high, it was absolutely amazing, but the experience of the pain when he was gone, was huge too. I’ve also experienced love where it felt so good and amazing but where my partner back then was too fearful to commit fully. That is painful also, because I had opened my heart but he couldn’t out of fear. How do you deal with a situation where you get hurt because your partner chooses fear where you chose love?

Hurt in your heart
First feel in your heart and visualise how your feelings look like if you would draw it on paper. What colour does it have? What structure? What size? Acknowledge this feeling with its emotions and thoughts and let it be as big as it needs your attention. Focus on it until it decreases till it’s disappeared completely. Now visualise your partner before you and with your thoughts tell him/her how you feel and how this impacts your life. Then tell how you want him/her to treat you. Feel if you can forgive him/her for his/her choice and behaviour. If so, say that out loud. Forgiveness will make you be able to move forward with your life again. Now feel if you can forgive yourself for everything that happened. Say that out loud to yourself too. Send back all the energy of your partner to him/her and call back your own energy to yourself. You can ask Archangel Michael now to cut all cords, except the pure unconditional love cord, between the two of you. Fill yourself up with a bright white light.

What thoughts do you have about yourself and love now? If you have judging or negative thoughts, write them down and transform them one by one into positive, uplifting thoughts. Did your experience make you believe you’re not worthy or deserving of true love or being together with your soulmate? Transform this into trust and faith the right partner is here for you and will open his/her heart for you in the right time. Ask the romance angels to help you bring you together with your life partner, help you both to choose love and let go of fears and experience love of the highest level for both of your highest and greatest good.

In the meantime ask your guides and angels to help you focus on your life, doing the things you like and that energise you, having balance in all ways, opening and healing your heart and releasing your fears. Focus on what brings you joy and be grateful for everything you have in life.

When you lose someone close and loved, you can feel overwhelmed by emotions as sadness, fears and even anger. It is difficult to not have your loved one by your side anymore in physical form as your companion, to not being able to hug each other nor call each other to catch up. But there is no such thing as death, there’s only the transition of the soul. Their soul still has all the memories they’ve created with you in their lifetime. You may take solace and comfort in knowing that they still exist and you’ll be with them in future.

Your loved one will have sympathy for you and all the others they have left behind who mourn them, and they’ll have the spiritual wisdom to understand their relationship with God/The Creator as well.

The most asked question by my clients in a reading is if their loved one is okay or has suffered from pain. Whatever age your loved one had when they transitioned, they are not in anguish or pain. Even not when they transitioned after an accident, murder, war or terrorist action. Your loved ones aren’t experiencing sadness or anxiety either, but they’re in ecstasy and bliss. They are in God’s light. They are experiencing joy, happiness and serenity, and are basking in the universal consciousness of God’s love.

They don’t want you to feel despair, hurt or grief. They are grateful for your love; and they want you to honour their memories, cherish your fond remembrances, and know that they are still with you. Every time you’re thinking of them suddenly, they are making contact with you. They want you to live your life to the fullest; that is their wish and the most precious way in which you can show your love for them. They know they are in your thoughts and prayers. They may come to you in your dreams and during meditation, but they are also with you when you think of them or look at their photo and talk to them (with your thoughts or out loud and when you feel the love for them in your heart). At times you’ll feel your loved ones’ presence.

A few weeks ago, I had the personal experience of my late husband giving me a kiss. It doesn’t feel like a real kiss. It’s a sensation that I can best describe as the feeling you would get when you put a bit of peppermint essential oil on your lip. It’s purely an energy sensation, a tingling feeling. I told him with my thoughts that it was a very subtle experience and if he could make it firmer. It became a little firmer but still subtle. If I would have been busy with working behind my computer or cooking, I would absolutely not have noticed his kiss. That was a learning curve for both of us. It was very nice to experience his kiss and teach him at the same time how it felt for me. Some people might think I’m constantly connecting with my late husband because I’m a medium, but it’s more the opposite; he connects with me because he thinks it’s too long ago we had contact. He has a special way of doing that; when I pass his photo in the living room, it’s like he stares at me and makes sure I see him, which means he wants me to know he’s with me. It gives me a warm feeling in my heart and it always makes me smile. And even when I am practising singing, he makes me look at his photo, as if he wants to say to me he’s listening and likes me singing to him.

Your loved ones want you to enjoy life. The greatest gift you can give them, is to continue loving them, allowing your love for them to be an inspiration to you. And through that love, to enjoy life every moment and let others enjoy life through you.

It’s human to feel hurt and pain and to go through a grieving process. It’s already difficult to have lost your loved one, but with this loss maybe came huge challenges for you too, like moving to another house, debts or worries about finances, or people judging you or turning their back to you because of how you handle your loss. It is even possible that people get jealous/envious because of how you keep on moving forward in a positive way after your loss. Always trust that what you feel is real, that your intuition is telling you the truth, and that you only have to do what feels good for you. Nobody can feel what you feel, nor tell you what to do. As long as it feels good and your truth in your heart, you’re acting in the right way.

If you are stuck or need advice or help, you can ask your loved one to help you together with your guides and angels. Ask for a sign that your loved one is helping you and what you could do best as your next step. Let them guide you through life. Share with them how you feel, when you feel down but also when you feel good and happy. That’ll give them so much joy when you tell them that you’re happy again and enjoying life!

[Some content in this article is from the books from Nick Bunick. I resonate completely with what he describes, because I’ve experienced it myself when my husband transitioned in July 2015 and through the contact I’ve had since then with my late husband.]

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